Dark Paradise
by justanotherflowercrown
Summary: When Penelope Longshot won the 69th Hunger Games, she thought that'd she be free of the Capitol and the sufferings the Games caused. Now, Penelope tries to sink back into a normal life, only to be taken back into her own personal hell: the 75th Hunger Games. Worst part? She's not alone when she goes back into the Games. FINNICK X OC.
1. DARK PARADISE

**CHAPTER 1:**

**_"All my friends tell me I should move on, I'm lying in the ocean, singing your song, Ahhh, that's how you sang it. Loving you forever, can't be wrong. Even though you're not here, won't move on. Ahhh, that's how we played it... And there's no remedy, For memory, Your face is like a melody, It won't leave my head, Your soul is haunting me, And telling me That everything is fine. But I wish I was dead (dead like you)... Every time I close my eyes, It's like a dark paradise, No one compares to you, I'm scared that you, Won't be waiting on the other side... All my friends ask me why I stay strong, Tell 'em when you find true love it lives on, Ahhh, that's why I stay here... No one compares to you, But there's no you, Except in my dreams tonight... There's no relief, I see you in my sleep. And everybody's rushing me, But I can feel you touching me, There's no release, I feel you in my dreams, Telling me I'm fine..." _\- Lana Del Rey.**

* * *

"Ladies and gentleman, the winner of the 69th Hunger Games is Penelope Longshot!"

The voice rung throughout the now nearly empty arena. The only things that still lay in this terrible dome is a few bodies of the newly deceased teenagers and me. Penelope Longshot, the eighteen year old girl who volunteered so the young twelve-year-old girl who wasn't much more than skin and bones wouldn't have to die.

I, Penelope Longshot, am the newest victor of the annual Hunger Games and the third victor from District 4.

I feel the wind from a hovercraft on my face and I know that someone has come to either retrieve me or the bodies of Disctrict 3's male tribute, Isaak, or District 1's female tribute, Shimmer. I tilt my head to the side so the sticks that are flying around and the sand from the dry arena do not go into my eyes or mouth. I still cannot move, the toxin that Shimmer found and laced her knife with paralyze me from the neck down. I regret my action of moving my head as soon as I see the shocked, angry face of Isaak beside me. My last enemy, the one who was determined to kill me as soon as he got the chance. His face, still stuck in its shocked expression, stares at me with unseeing eyes, but I feel the guilt start to bubble up inside of me.

_I_ did this, I _killed_ him, I get to live for killing someone.

A set of arms carefully pick me up and I start to scream. I do not know these people, I see them as a threat. My screaming stops as I feel a pinch in my forearm as they inject me with something. I feel the world turn fuzzy, and black dots cloud my vision as the last strength I have left after six days in the arena fades away. I feel consciousness leaving me, and the tributes that were left intrude my dreams.

Twenty three tributes... _Dead._ Surviving... _One._ How many did I kill? _Thirteen._

* * *

I wake to someone brushing my hair away from my face and a hand that grips mine so hard I'm surprised the pressure wasn't what woke me up. I do not open my light blue eyes, I fear what I will see. I fear I will see the angry, unseeing brown eyes that belong to Isaak beside me. I fear I'll see Shimmer on my right side, her eyes bloodshot and unseeing, with a knife plunged into her forehead and another in her chest.

"C'mon, honey, wake up... You can wake up now," it's Mags', my mentor's, soft and barely audible - due to her growing age - voice.

Feeling safer, my eyes flutter open and I see the kind, elder woman smiling sadly down at me. Her eyes slightly widen as she sees that I've woken, and she reaches over and pats the person who has their hand on mine with a vise like grip. I follow the elder victor's arm and see that she is patting Finnick Odair's shoulder. My other mentor, barely eighteen, wakes from his own sleep and I see it was not a peaceful sleep, but one filled with the nightmares from his Games four years ago. His hand crushes mine with so much force I clench my eyes shut, but then the pain caused by the weight of Finnick's hand disappears and is replaced with a smaller hand: Mags'.

"Hey, sweetheart, how're you feeling?" Finnick asks me as he kneels beside me and brushes a strand of my deep brown hair away from my eyes.

"Like I just spent six days in a death trap," I say weakly, trying to sound humorous but I fail terribly, that is no joking matter.

I spent three days with my District partner, Trae, until I watched him receive a sword to the back for me. When I'd asked him why, why he would sacrifice himself for me, why he wouldn't just let me die, he simply responded with his dying breath: _'They don't need me, nobody really does. But they need you... **He** needs you'_.

That happened on the third day of the Games, and I spent the next three avenging my friend that had sacrificed himself for me, and I _did_ avenge him. I hunted down the career pack which held both tributes from Districts 1, 2, 3, and the male tribute from 5. When it was just down to me, Isaak, and Shimmer, it was more of a challenge to finish the damn Games. They were both much more skilled than I, and they were still in an alliance. I won the 69th Hunger Games out of luck and a bit of hope to get back to District 4 where my family and someone else were.

"Penelope?" it's Finnick again and I snap out of my thoughts and look at him, but something blocks my vision... _Tears_.

"I-I'm fine," I mutter as I quickly wipe away the tears from my eyes and cheeks.

"Are you?" Finnick asks and I avert my eyes, not letting myself look him in the eyes. I know if I look at him I'll just burst into tears again, I'm not okay. I'm not. I killed thirteen people, thirteen children, in a span of six days. I'm a monster.

"Trae," is all I say, I want to know if either Mags or Finnick have spoken to his parents or if they received his body.

"They're sending him back home, honey," Mags says in her quiet voice and I nod, "Where are we?"

"Capitol," Finnick explains, "Doctor's patched you up, fixed your wrist, and filled your chipped tooth. We're in your room of the Capitol's version of the Victor's Village, but it's not really a village... More of an apartment complex like at the training center."

I nod, taking in his words, I run my tongue over my front tooth and find that it doesn't have the chip in it from the rock District 2's female tribute, Cara, threw at me. My wrist no longer holds the searing pain it did hours, or maybe it was days, ago from Isaak's attempt at getting a knife to my throat.

"So what next?" I whisper, fearing the answer I'm going to receive.

"An interview with Ceaser, again, and then the Victory Tour," Mags tells me and I frown, "Do I have to?"

"Yes, it's what President Snow's ordered," Finnick says, almost bitterly, "We tried to get him to allow an exception, just take you home, but he wouldn't agree."

"Thanks for trying, Finnick," I say with a small smile and he returns it with one of his own, "It'll be over soon enough, don't worry all you've got to do is put on a smile and be thankful to everyone."

"Sounds easier said than done. What, am I supposed to be _thankful_ that the Capitol sent me to my death? Or thank the Districts for sending in kids for me to kill?" I ask bitterly, anger bubbling up inside of me.

"No, but when Ceaser interviews you, thank the sponsors that sent you the bread and water, the ointment to fight off the mutts' venom, thank the Districts for their support when you saved the girl from 9 so she wouldn't become the mutt's dinner," Mags tells me and I sigh.

"Thanks for clarifying that."

"That's what mentors do for their victors," Mags says with a small smile.

* * *

**(2 weeks later)**

I sit in front of President Snow with Mags on my left and Finnick on my right. The President sent for us to come meet him at his mansion, well... He asked that _I_ come to his mansion and I told him I would as long as Mags and Finnick could come with me.

The President accepted that and so here we were, sitting in front of the most powerful man in the Capitol.

"Ms. Longshot, your interviews and your Victory Tour have concluded, and you'll be leaving for District 4 tonight," President Snow starts, "Now, I would like for you to become a mentor, along with Finnick and Mags, here."

"Sure," I tell him with a frown, _that's_ why he ordered me here?

"I'd also like to give you an offer."

Ah, I _knew_ that there'd be something else.

"Yes?" I ask and Snow sits up straight in his large chair.

"You are seventeen, yes? I'd like to give you the offer to be bought while in the Capitol," President Snow says and my eyes widened, "Excuse me?"

"No," Finnick snaps for me and I nod, "Yeah, no!"

"Understood. However, if you do _not_ agree, there'd be some... _Consequences_, if you will," Snow says and I scowl at the man, "Like what? You'll kill me? Stage an accident?"

"No, Ms. Longshot, I will not have you killed," he pauses a moment as I meet his cold eyes, "I will kill your family."

"He's bluffing," Finnick says after a moment of silence, then repeats, "He's _bluffing_, Penelope."

"Just like I was bluffing about _your_ family, Finnick Odair?" President Snow challenges as my mind flows with thoughts.

Finnick grips the edge of the seat to keep from doing something he'll probably regret later, and I feel a hand rest on my shoulder. I look to my left and see Mags giving me a sad small smile as she shakes her head, silently telling me not to give President Snow what he wants.

I look the President in the eyes while standing up, "I'm sorry, sir, but I'm going to have to reject your offer. Are we done here?"

The President smiled as he stood and gestured to the door, "Yes, we're done here, I'll be seeing you all next year."

* * *

I feel a hand on the small of my back as the three of us walk towards the eating area of the train to District 4, and I tilt my headblue ones. His eyes show concern and something else I can't place, and I stop walking to look at him. It's the emotion I've always seen my father show after my mother died: Sorrow.

"Finnick?" I ask as he stops walking too and turns to me.

He doesn't meet my gaze as he grabs my hands and I intertwine our fingers. Mags walks ahead of us and steps through the door to the eating room, leaving Finnick and I in the compartment before it.

"I hate that man," was all Finnick said and I let go of one of his hands and tilted his head upwards.

Finnick Odair looked utterly broken as his eyes met mine and I rubbed a thumb across his cheek, "Hey, _hey_, it's okay."

"It's not! Penelope, it's _not_ okay, nothing is. That sick man wanted you to agree to prostitution in the Capitol, it's _sick_! He wanted to make you an item, something someone could buy and it's disgusting," Finnick said through gritted teeth, "He wanted to make you like every other Victor, he wanted to make you like me."

I'm taken aback by this, I didn't know that Finnick had to go through something so terrible.

"Finnick, oh God, _Finnick_," I whisper as I pull him into a hug and rub his back as I feel him shudder with silent sobs, "They won't touch you, not again."

"I can't," his voice breaks, "It's what gets sponsors for the tributes, it's what I signed for this year when Snow promised not to hurt anyone else I care about."

I pull away from the hug and wipe a few tears from Finnick's face as he tries to pull himself together, "Finnick, why would you sign up for that? Who else could he possibly hurt? Your family-" he cuts me off.

"You."

"What?" I whisper and Finnick looks down at me as I look up slightly so I can meet his eyes.

"You're the one I don't want him hurting, Penny," he whispered back and I felt blood rise in my cheeks, he couldn't mean that _could_ he? Finnick was amazing beyond words and he'd been there for me since I volunteered for the little girl back home, I knew he'd had deep feelings for me but I always thought he thought of me like a sister. But now, I see a look in his eyes: _Longing_. It's something that seems to connect the dots as a series of memories quickly flow through my mind.

Finnick's face falling as I walked onto the stage during the Reaping, and Finnick staying with me the night before the Games and telling me comforting words while he brushed my hair from my face, Finnick telling me that he'd do everything in his power to bring me home from the Games, Finnick running into my compartment on the train for three nights in a row while on the Victory Tour when I woke from my nightmares screaming until he just ended up staying beside me in my compartment to comfort me when I woke, and finally: The other night when I sat with Ceaser in front of the huge crowd of people from the Capitol and him saying that while he was watching the Games with the rest of the V.I.P people (Victors and extremely rich sponsors) he had never seen Finnick Odair look so worried and stressed as he watched the final showdown between Isaak, Shimmer, and I.

Without another thought, I crash my lips against Finnick's and he eagerly responds as he cups my cheeks and kisses me back. When we break apart, our foreheads leaning against one another, both of us smiling.

"I've wanted to do that for a while now, Odair," I say with a smile and he lets out a breath as I wipe another tear from his cheek away, "Not as long as I have, Penny."

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Hello all! This is my first Hunger Games fan fic so please be kind? I wanted to throw it out there that I ship Finnick and Annie _a lot _but I watched Catching Fire for the first time last week and I had a lot of feels and so this fan fic was created. Well, I'd appreciate feedback and you'd make my day by leaving a review or following/favoriting this story. Until I post again (which might be until next weekend), goodbye! :3


	2. HAPPY HUNGER GAMES

**CHAPTER 2:**** Happy Hunger Games...**

* * *

I wake to someone shaking my shoulders, and I gasp as I bring my right fist up so it collides with someone's jaw.

"Ah, hell, Penelope!" it's Finnick.

"Oops, sorry," I tell him as he rubs his jaw and then he doesn't look at me as he says, "Didn't know you could hit so hard."

"Sorry," I repeat, then frown, "Why'd you wake me? Was I screaming again?"

I'd had the tendency to start crying, talking, and screaming in my sleep.

"No, we're nearly home," he says, still not looking me in the eyes.

"Finnick?" I ask, a sick feeling starts in my stomach, I can tell that he's hiding something from me, "_Why_ did you wake me?"

"Peacekeeper called the train's phone," he tells me, and I feel my heart drop to my stomach as he says, "Your father and brother..."

That's all it took for me to burst into tears, no no no no no.

_No_.

I felt Finnick's strong arms wrap around me and I started to sob into his chest, I cried for my father and brother as he held me tightly, "I know, Penny, I know."

The Capitol had already put me in my own personal hell once, and now they'd gone and done it again.

* * *

When we arrived at District 4, my home District, I felt numb. Very, _very_ numb and tired. The Peacekeepers of our District guide Mags, Finnick, and I to the burial grounds so we can watch my father and brother's remains from the _"Fishing accident"_, as our head Peacekeeper called it, be buried next to other Victor's relatives.

I lean on Finnick's shoulder for support while I bury my face in the crook of his neck while he rubs small circles on my back and Mags has her hand on my shoulder.

"Welcome back to District 4, Penelope. President Snow hopes that you find your new life as a Victor pleasing," our head Peacekeeper, Julius, tells me and I swallow the lump in my throat as I meet his eyes and nod. I look back as the last of my family's remains are buried and I feel tears well in my eyes.

"Shhh, you're okay," I hear Finnick whisper beside me as he pulls me into a hug and I grasp the fabric of his sweater tightly while I let out a few sobs before silently crying.

* * *

_**(5 YEARS LATER)**_

I sit beside Finnick in his compartment on the train ride to the Capitol, it's my fourth time being a mentor and it isn't getting any easier. We've only had one other Victor, a girl named Annie Cresta who's gone off the tracks into crazy town. She's gone crazy from seeing her District partner beheaded. Every other child that's gone into the Games have died terrible deaths and Finnick and I were always the ones who had to tell the families. It makes me sick to my stomach.

"It'll be okay," Finnick muttered from beside me as his thumb brushed my bangs from my face, I close my eyes and sink into his touch, "We both know that's a lie, Fin."

"I know," Finnick sighs as he wraps his arms around my smaller form, and I rest my head on his chest, "I hate this place."

"We'll be home soon, the Games will go just as quickly as they do every year," he says and I frown, "It's disgusting."

"Yeah," Finnick agrees, and we lay in silence as we both start to drift off to sleep. Soon enough, my eyes are closing and the only noise I hear are Finnick's heartbeat and our breathing.

* * *

"You have to have _someone_ you love," President Snow taunts as he paces in front of me and I swallow the lump in my throat, "The only people I've ever loved are _deceased_."

We're standing in President Snow's mansion, and at the moment, he's interrogating me. Just like he's been doing. For _five_ freaking _years_. I'd only been in the Capitol all but one day and he'd already cornered me.

"Come now, Penelope, you're twenty-three years old, you should know the right decision by now," I roll my eyes at his statement and he frowns, "There must be _someone_ that you love that can help... _persuade_ you to accept my offer," the President says and I clench my jaw as I sit on the white futon, "No, there's not. Like I said, they're all _dead_."

"Yes, but not even dear old Mags or maybe Mr. Finnick Odair could help?" He asked and I bit back a glare, he can't know how close I am with either of them. Especially my lover, Finnick. If Snow knew about us, he'd have one of us dead by morning. Most likely me, I've got no use for the Capitol.

"No," I tell the evil man, "I'm only close with them because I have to be, if it were up to me I wouldn't talk to them. They annoy me, I don't love them," I lie with a frown, the President nods, obviously believing me, "Understood, now, are you sure that you won't accept my offer? _Again_?"

"_Positive_," I pronounce every syllable as I stand, "May I leave now?"

"Yes, you may leave, and good luck with your tributes!" he says as I make my way towards the mansion's grand doors.

"Happy Hunger Games," I say in mock happiness, using my best Capitol voice.

* * *

I sit alone at the small café area at the training center as we all wait for our tributes to finish with getting their scores, other Victors sit and stand, gossiping and making small talk. I catch Finnick's eye from where he stands beside the male Victor from 6, I can't remember his name though, and as soon as the Victor from 4 sees me, he gives me a small smile, silently telling me that he's sorry for not being able to speak to me alone here in public.

"Hey, 4," a female voice says and I turn my head to see that Johanna Mason, a Victor who has an axe fetish, was now sitting across from me with a small smile. We've never really spoken, at least not on a friendly level, we'd exchanged a few... _colorful_ words with one another when Johanna near attacked me when I first started to Mentor. She'd started screaming at me while she pushed me into a glass wall, yelling something along the lines of _'You idiot! You stupid **idiot! **Why would you do that to him?!'_ At first I thought she was talking about the Tribute from her District, but then I remembered that I hadn't killed the boy.

"Um, hi, Johanna," I said, uneasy with how friendly she was being.

"I, uh, I wanted to apologize for my little outburst a few years back," she told me, then lowered her voice as she leaned forward, "I thought you were just trying to slut him up and that you'd give him up to President Psycho to be killed, but I see the way you look at him, you really do love him."

My eyes widened slightly and I looked at the woman in front of me, "I, um, I don't, uh -"

"I won't tell anyone, your secret's safe with me," she promised, and glanced at where Finnick stood, "I care about him too, he's like an annoying little brother, I'm not gonna get him killed. And I guess since he's kept you, I'll try to be friends with you too."

"Thanks, Johanna," I tell her sincerely, "I'd like to be friends too. I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm still the outsider here."

Johanna looked around us and nodded before looking back at me and giving me a crooked grin, "They're a bunch of tools anyway."

I let out a laugh at that and Johanna joined along before frowning slightly, "By the way, heard about your family, sorry."

I tense up and meet the girl's eyes, "You too."

I'd heard of Johanna's past, Finnick told me about how her whole family was murdered by President Snow too, and that she'd been reckless and rebellious ever since. Always claiming that the Capitol and the President couldn't hurt her anymore. That there was no one else that she loved left.

Johanna shrugged, "Just makes it a hell of a lot easier to hate this damn place."

I nodded, "Between that and the fact that twenty-four kids have to die each year."

Johanna simply nodded and before she spoke again, a large hand landed on my shoulder, and I jumped in surprise before the owner of the hand came into view: Finnick.

I sighed, "Don't sneak up on me, Odair."

He let out a chuckle before pulling up a chair to at the small table, "Apologies, Longshot."

"So, no fights this year?" Finnick asked us and we shook our heads, "Nope."

"Good, 'cause I think we've got bigger problems," he muttered and we looked at him with a frown, "What?"

"Apparently 12 scored some pretty high scores," Finnick said and my eyes widened as my eyebrows shot up to my hairline, "What? _12_?"

"Yeah, and tons of sponsors are going for the girl," he told us and I sighed, "So what do we do?"

"We've got to find some sponsors," he sighed and we both know what he was referring to: The fact that he'd have to sell himself for sponsors.

My jaw clenched as my light eyes met his dark hues, he knew how much I was against it. I didn't think any lower of him, but the fact that he was forced to do it pisses me off, _especially_ because it meant that Snow was winning his sick game. We stared at one another for another moment before he sighed and looked at his hands they were resting on the table, "It's what we have to do."

I clench then unclench my jaw again, "I suppose."

"Well, 4, as fun as this all was, I've got to get training the little hell raisers," Johanna said as she stood and gave us both mock salutes, "See ya around, dweebs."

"Bye, Johanna," I smile as I return the gesture then turn to Finnick, "You really think our tributes have a chance?"

"I don't know," he sighed, meeting my eyes again, "The girl from 12's worrying me."

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello! Thank you _soooo_ much for your awesome feedback, I'm really excited for this story, and again, I'm sorry that this update took so long! I have two other fan fictions that I'm working on and I have to take my time with each, so sorry! I hope you don't mind that I added a 5 year time shift, but there's a reason for my madness, I promise you! I'll update again ASAP! Bye! :3**


	3. YOU ARE IN LOVE

**omg i'm back**

**CHAPTER 3: YOU ARE IN LOVE**

**"..._You can hear it in the silence, silence. You can feel it on the way home, way home. You can see it with the lights out, lights out. You are in love, true love. You are in love... Morning, his place. Burn toast, Sunday. You keep his shirt, he keeps his word, and for once you let go of your fears and your ghosts. One step, not much, but it said enough. You kiss on sidewalks, you fight and you talk. One night he wakes, strange look on his face, pauses, then says, 'You're my best friend'. And you knew what it was... He is in love... And so it goes, you two are dancing in a snow globe round and round... And you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars, and why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words_..." - Taylor Swift.**

* * *

The Hunger Games had started two days later, and Finnick and I were worried about our tributes to say the least. They'd survived the infamous "Blood Bath" of the Games, but they were looking bad now.

"Finnick, we need more sponsors," I told my fellow victor as we sat down in the large room our District was given, "They're never going to survive if they have the amount of sponsors they do right now."

"Don't you think I know that, Penelope?" Finnick snapped, standing up from the futon he'd been sitting on in our District's main room, "I'm trying, it's just not enough this year!"

I watched as he walked over and sat down at the kitchen table, drinking something in a container before wincing slightly and I knew that it was alcohol that he'd just drank. I stared at Finnick while he pinched the bridge of his nose and continued to dwell over the fact that District 4's tributes would most likely be one of the first to die if we didn't get sponsors. Without another word, I walked over and grabbed my coat from the hangers by the front door before muttering to Finnick, "I'll be back."

I could hear him calling my name but instead of turning back like my gut told me to, I continued to walk, going to the last place I ever wanted to be. I went to the worst place to be.

I went to President Snow's home.

* * *

"Ah, Ms. Penelope Longshot, to what do I owe the... _Pleasure_?" President Snow asked and I sat down at the seat across from his desk.

"I've denied your... _Offer_ for many years now," I started as I stared down at my hands, "I'd like to accept it now."

"Really?" President Snow asked, sounding surprised as he asked the question with widened eyes and a slightly dropped mouth.

"Yes. We both know how this whole things work, here in the Capitol. I sell my time and I receive sponsors for my District's tributes," I told him, my mouth pressed into a thin line by the end, "Now, let's get down to business. I want at least ten sponsors for my tributes, how much of my... _Time_... Must I give to achieve that amount of sponsors?"

"For ten sponsors? I'd say that you should provide your services, at the most, maybe... Once for five sponsors. That should suffice," President Snow told me and I clenched my jaw, "And what of the threats you place on me?"

"I do not place any threats, Ms. Longshot. What you may perceive as threats are actually just reminders that you may have _survived_ The Games but you are still under my watch and I know _everything_, Ms. Longshot."

"Do you?" I challenged, and Snow gave me an evil grin, "I know that you and Ms. Johanna are now on friendlier terms than you were in previous years, and that you're closer with Mr. Finnick Odair than you make it out to be to the public."

"I may be on friendlier terms with Johanna, I admit to that. But I am not close with Finnick Odair, President Snow. We hate one another," I told him, keeping my expression placid.

"Well, if this is what you call _'hate'_, then I'd love to see what the opposite is," President Snow said, giving me a cold look before using his projection screen on his desk to show me a photo.

The photo showed Finnick and I, in his home, and the image showed that I had my arms around his neck while we looked at one another lovingly. Then, President Snow raised a finger and made a sliding motion, and another image showed up on the projection. The second image showed Finnick cupping my cheeks as he kissed me and me kissing him back.

The projection disappeared and I stared at President Snow with hatred, "So you know our dirty little secret. What now?"

"Now? Nothing. Well, nothing as long as you do as I say," he told me and I clenched my jaw, "Go on."

"You will take up my offer, and you will also keep quiet about the fact that I know of you and Finnick Odair's relationship."

"Why? It's not like you're going to use it against me or tell the media," I snapped and President Snow was the one to clench his jaw now, "I'd mind your tone and remember who exactly you're talking to, Ms. Longshot. I am your President and also the one in charge of your tributes' and your own lives."

"When do I start?" I asked after a moment and President Snow smiled at me.

"Tonight, of course."

* * *

"Where've you been?"

I'd snuck back into District 4's floor of the huge Hunger Games tower at nearly two in the morning, and I'd had the hood of my coat hung over my head while I tiptoed into the room.

However, Finnick had been waiting up, and it was quite obvious by his tone and the slight dark circles under his eyes.

"Out," I said quietly as I continued to walk towards my room.

"Oh no, no, no. I don't think so," Finnick said and I felt him grab my arm and I turned to him, using the heel of my hand to hit him in the chest and the force caused him to take a few steps back and he looked at me in shock and somewhat anger but then he actually looked at me.

"Oh my God, Penelope, what happened to you?" Finnick asked, looking at me with widened eyes and his eyes filled with fear and concern.

I knew what I looked like because when I'd walked into the elevator, I'd seen my reflection against the mirror hung. My mascara was spread over my eyes like I was one of those gross animals that picked through trash cans, and some of it was streamed down my face. My eyes were red and so were my cheeks.

"Nothing," I muttered, "I just want to go to bed, Finnick."

"No, not until you tell me why you look like this," Finnick said, grabbing my arm again when I went to turn away, but instead of pushing him away again, I just stayed there, staring back at him before starting to cry again.

"What happened to you, Penny?" Finnick asked again, this time much softer and more concerned than ever.

"I-I got, um, I got two more sponsors for our tributes," I whispered, looking down as I wiped at my eyes, "And, um, their friends said that they'd sponsor too. S-So that's probably, um, maybe five sponsors."

"How did you get that many?" Finnick asked and I looked up at him before looking down in shame.

"How did you get that many sponsors tonight, Penelope?" Finnick asked me with a growl, "Dear God, do not tell me that you did what I think you did!"

I looked up at him, the tears I'd just wiped away forming again, "Please don't hate me."

"He made you, didn't he?" Finnick asked, growing angry, and I knew that he was referring to President Snow.

"No, no," I shook my head, although it was slightly a lie. I didn't want our tributes to die, so that's why I agreed in the first place, but I also agreed because of the fact that he had leverage over me; Knowing that Finnick and I were secretly together.

"Don't lie to me, Penelope!" Finnick snapped and I saw that tears were in his beautiful eyes, "I told you that you'd never have to do the things that I do!"

"You don't think that I'm upset about all of this? Finnick, I feel disgusted with myself right now!" I yelled at him, "I'm disgusted because I let someone use my body so that way two innocent kids don't have to die. And-And you probably are disgusted with me, and it's just all fucked!"

Finnick closed the space between us, pulling me into a bone-crushing hug, patting my hair down and "shhh"-ing me before pulling away and kissing nearly every inch of my face.

"I am not disgusted with you, Penelope," Finnick told me sternly, "I just never wanted this for you."

"Me either, Finn," I whispered, "Me either."

* * *

This year's Hunger Games had ended four days later.

Both of our tributes were gone. The boy tribute, Johnny, had died just after the blood bath; Turns out that I was too late to help save him. However, our girl tribute, Tannah, had survived until she was killed by the tracker jackers by District 12's girl tribute; Katniss Everdeen.

The end of the Hunger Games was... Tense to say the least. Katniss Everdeen had won the Hunger Games... Along with her District partner, Peeta Mellark. They'd pretended to be in love and so they were going to take the suicide route if they couldn't win together, and so they'd defied the Capitol and President Snow by going against the rules of the Hunger Games and both Finnick and I knew that there'd be terrible consequences for that.

Consequences that involved everyone.

* * *

"I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Ma'am," I told the mother of Johnny. She was a widow and now had no children, and I felt absolutely horrible that I had to go and apologize to her alone. Finnick had gone to apologize for the loss of Tannah to the dead girl's mother and father.

"Thank you," Johnny's mother whispered to me and I saw that her eyes were red and there were dark circles under her eyes.

"If there's anything I can do for you, please," I told her as quietly as I could incase I was being watched, "Let me know."

"Thank you, Ms. Longshot."

"Please, call me Penelope," I told her with a small smile before bidding her farewell and walking back to my home in the Victor's Village.

When I got there, I knew that I would only have an hour or two to sleep because I'd have to go to the whole "Victory Tour" assembly in our District's main street.

* * *

The whole Victory Tour, at least when I came to Katniss and Peeta, seemed like bullshit.

You could tell that their relationship seemed forced (from my point of view) and that Katniss was struggling to sound in love with Peeta. Finnick, Mags, Annie, and I hadn't spoken to the two new Victors, fearing that we'd be punished for doing so. And in all honesty, I didn't want to have anything to do with those two. There was talk of rebellion all over our District, that the other Districts had tried to start uprisings, and as much as I hated the Capitol and President Snow, I didn't want to risk getting anyone I loved hurt.

Especially Finnick.

* * *

Things start to quiet down during the following months (although I'd heard that some of the other Districts like 8, 9, 10, and 11 were still trying to start a rebellion) and I hadn't heard from President Snow or anyone else from the Capitol.

I'd grown somewhat distant with Finnick, I refused to even hold his hand unless we were in my room with the shades closed, and I would barely speak to him, Mags, or Annie in public. I'd become paranoid, thinking that our President or someone from the Capitol were watching me all the time. The third Quarter Quell was coming, soon, and every Victor in the country was worried about what President Snow and the Game Makers were plotting, considering the fact that last year Katniss and Peeta had gone against the Capitol.

So here I was, sitting in Mags' home with Finnick, Annie, and Mags herself on the elder woman's huge black leather couch. There was a mandatory television scheduled for tonight and every one of us just guessed that it was the photos from Katniss and Peeta's wedding fashion shoot. Yes, the two had been publicly engaged on Ceaser's show months ago and now the public was going to see their photos.

We were partly right, Katniss and Peeta's wedding fashion shoot did air.

But President Snow also makes an appearance.

He reminds us all of the Dark Days from which the Hunger Games were created and when the laws were created for the Hunger Games, that every twenty-five years the anniversary would be marked by a Quarter Quell. A glorified version of the Hunger Games would be held to make fresh the memory of everyone destroyed in the first District's Rebellion.

I shared a glance with Finnick and we both mirrored the same emotion: Fear.

President Snow was getting to a point and I'm not sure that I wanted to know what exactly it was.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: wow I'm back and THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE FAVS, FOLLOWS, AND REVIEWS ILY GUYS!**


	4. YELLOW FLICKER BEAT

**CHAPTER 4: YELLOW FLICKER BEAT.**

**"..._I'm a princess cut from marble, smoother than a storm. And the scars that mark my body, they're silver and gold. My blood is a flood of rubies, precious stones, it keeps my veins hot, the fire's found a home in me. I move through town, I'm quiet like a fight, and my necklace is of rope, I tie it and untie... And now people talk to me, but nothing ever hits home. People talk to me, and all the voices just burn holes. I'm done with it (ooh)... This is the start of how it all ends. They used to shout my name, now they whisper it. I'm speeding up and this is the red, orange, yellow flicker beat sparking up my heart. We're at the start, the colors disappear. I never watch the stars, there's so much down here. So I just try to keep up with the red, orange, yellow flicker beat sparking up my heart... I dream all year, but they're not the sweet kinds. And the shivers move down my shoulder blades in double time... And now people talk to me, I'm slipping out of reach now. People talk to me, and all their faces blur. But I got my fingers laced together and I made a little prison. And I'm locking up everyone who ever laid a finger on me. I'm done with it (ooh)_..." - Lorde.**

* * *

"Now, on this... The 75th anniversary of our defeat of the rebellion, we celebrate the third Quarter Quell-" the crowd cheered and President Snow let them for a moment before speaking again, and I felt my hands shaking slightly as my knee hopped up and down with anxiety. I didn't know what was going to come out of President Snow's mouth next, I just knew that it wouldn't be good. He cleared his throat before speaking again, "As a reminder that even the strongest cannot overcome the power of The Capitol... On this, the third Quarter Quell of the Games, the male and female Tributes are to be reaped from the existing pool of Victors in each District!"

"Oh my God," I whimpered, my hands shaking even more.

"No!" Annie cried, "No, no, no, no! I-I can't! I can't! Can't! Can't! Can't!"

"Victors shall present themselves on Reaping Day regardless of age no matter fault or situation," President Snow continued while Mags tried to calm Annie down.

"They can't... He... He can't do this!" I yelled, standing up and beginning to pace, "The Capitol people won't stand for it! T-They-" I stopped when I heard Finnick speak.

"Oh, he can do it, alright. They want us dead because of the rebellion," Finnick said and each of us looked at him, "Two of us are going in, and there's a pretty good chance we're not going to come out."

* * *

A week later was the Reaping Day and quite possibly the worst day of my life.

I knew that Finnick would be going in the Games again, and he knew it too.

We'd stayed in his room for the past three days, just spending time together and talking, knowing that he may not come out of it alive. I knew that Mags was going to volunteer for Annie or myself, I'd overheard her talking to Finnick yesterday.

What they didn't know, was that I had a plan of my own. I was going to volunteer for Mags or Annie, if their name was chosen, and I was also going to everything in my power so that neither of them had to go into the Games again.

"Welcome! Today is a day of Reaping for the third Quarter Quell! Our male Tribute," our District's escort, Melly, said as she reached into the bowl that only had one card, "Finnick Odair!"

I looked over at Finnick with my slightly-red eyes from crying earlier and he glanced over at me before stepping forward, giving a smile to the crowd while they cheered for him and he raised his hand in a wave of sorts.

"Next, our female Tribute!" Melly said before reaching into the bowl with three cards, shifting her hand around before picking one, "Annie Cresta!"

"No!" Annie sobbed, putting a hand over her mouth and before I could volunteer, Mags raised her hand, pointing at herself since she could no longer speak due to her age and Melly clapped her hands together, "Mags, volunteering! Wonderful!"

"I volunteer for Mags!" I yelled before Mags could walk over to stand beside Finnick.

Melly's eyes widened and she looked over at me, "This truly is wonderful! Come along then, Penelope."

Mags grabbed my hand, looking at me with pleading eyes and I gave her a small smile, shaking my head. I slowly let go of her hand and walked over to stand beside Finnick, giving the crowd a small smile as well while I could feel Finnick's eyes on me.

I felt him wrap his arms around me, kissing the top of my head, whispering, "I'll protect you."

I knew that he was probably angry with me, but that he would indeed protect me. I also knew that he was thankful me for volunteering for Mags, she was like a mother to him and I and we both didn't want her in the Games.

I was going back into the arena and I knew that I would take more lives and it scared the living shit out of me.

* * *

"The mourphlings. Masters of camouflage. Basically won their Games by hiding until everyone else was dead," Haymitch Abernathy told Katniss and Peeta while they sat at their District's room's kitchen table, a projection showing each of the District's Reapings and he was explaining who everyone was that showed up, "Self-medicating ever since, which I applaud. Not a threat."

Haymitch clicked a button and the screen showed Finnick waving his hand at the crowd with a smile.

"Finnick Odair, right?" Katniss asked, remembering him from watching the Games when she was younger.

"Yes. He won his Games at fourteen. Youngest ever. Extremely humble."

"You're kidding," Katniss said.

"Yes, I'm kidding," Haymitch deadpanned before continuing, "He's a peacock. A total preener. But he's the Capitol darling. They love him here. Charming, smart, and very skilled in combat. Especially in water."

"What about weaknesses?" Peeta asked, leaning forward in his seat.

"One. Penelope Longshot," Haymitch told the two, "She volunteered for Mags after Mags volunteered for Annie, which has never been done before, by the way. Penelope is the only Tribute that's ever survived the Games under his mentorship other than Annie. They supposedly hate one another, but the Reaping video caught him telling her that he'd protect her. If he's trying to do so, it exposes him. However, Penelope doesn't quite need so much protecting but instead restraint."

The reaping video played and showed a young girl, definitely in her early twenties just like Finnick. She had choppy brown bangs to match her choppy cut hair, light blue eyes, and she was quite thin.

"Didn't she kill, like, _two_ people?" Katniss asked with a slight frown, not understanding where Haymitch was going with this. The girl seemed like she was harmless.

"Try thirteen, sweetheart," Haymitch said and Katniss and Peeta's eyes widened. Thirteen was more than _half_ of the Tributes.

"She won her Games by tracking down the Career pack and killing them to avenge her District partner that took a sword to the back for her. When it was just down to her and District 3 and 1; she slit 3's throat after he tried to do the same to her and then stabbed 1 in the chest and head after she stuck her with poison. Penelope's best with knives and just like Finnick, great with swimming and running. She's one of the most lethal Tributes the Games' have ever seen. Capitol loves her, too. They couldn't touch her until this year, so they're crazy for her now."

"What about her? Does she have a weakness?" Peeta asked Haymitch.

"She's obviously going to try to protect Finnick, that's for sure," Haymitch told them before frowning slightly, "When I met her during her Victory tour, though, she seemed a little... Off. Like she's still in the Games or something. Like PTSD. Her weakness is paranoia and Finnick."

* * *

"I am _not_ wearing this," I hissed, looking at the "_clothing_" that my stylist wanted me to wear as I stood in front of a mirror. I wore a black bandeau and probably the smallest pair of black shorts that I've ever seen, and a net is hung over my body so that I resemble a fish or something. It was completely ridiculous.

"Relax, sweetheart, you're still covered," Finnick told me as he popped another sugar cube in his mouth. He'd stolen them on our way in and wouldn't stop shoving his face. I shot him a glare from where I stood. His outfit was worse than mine, wearing only a net that hung low on his hips and a pair of shorts under that to make sure his private areas were covered.

"Says the man who looks like he's just washed up with only a net to cover him," I said with a sarcastic laugh and Finnick playfully rolled his eyes before nodding towards the door, "We've got to go, the chariot rides are going to start soon."

"Okay," I sigh, giving up on throwing a fit with my stylists. I exited the room with Finnick not far behind and as we walked out, a huge hole above us showed Capitol citizens, cheering, screaming, "Penelope! Finnick!"

"Hmm, look at 12 all grown looking," Finnick said when we reached the chariots, looking a bit of a ways down to where Katniss Everdeen stood, petting a horse.

"Let me guess, you want to go make friends with her," I said and Finnick shot me a grin before walking towards _"the Girl on Fire"_, "Katniss!"

"Hello, Finnick," Katniss said, looking over at him before glancing at me, "Penelope."

"Do you want a sugar cube?" Finnick asked her, and I rolled my eyes at him before looking over at Katniss, "He's been offering them to people for the past two hours."

"Well, it's supposed to be for the horses, but who cares about them, right? They've got years to eat sugar, but you, me, and Penelope? We've got a few days. If we see something sweet, better grab it, right?" Finnick asked.

"No thanks," Katniss said before looking him up and down, "But I would love to borrow that outfit someday."

"You look pretty terrifying in that get up," Finnick told her with a smile, looking at her black dress and heavy makeup, "What happened to the pretty little girl dresses?"

"I outgrew them," Katniss deadpanned.

"You certainly did," Finnick said with another smile, "Shame about the Quell thing. Now you, you would've made out like a bandit in The Capitol. Jewels, money, anything you wanted."

"Well, I don't like jewels, and I have more money than I need, so..." Katniss trailed off, "What do you two spend all yours on, anyway?"

"Oh, we haven't dealt with money in years," I tell her with a smile. It was true, and it felt good, not to need money anymore, that was the only good thing to come out of the Hunger Games.

"Then how do they pay you both for the pleasure of your company?" Katniss asked and I clenched my jaw. I knew that she knew about Finnick and I's roles that we played here in the Capitol nowadays, but I didn't like that she'd thrown it out there in our faces.

"Secrets," Finnick whispered in over exaggeration, "What about you, Girl on Fire? Do you have any secrets worth my time?"

I bit back a few colourful words and a glare towards Finnick for acting like he wanted her or something, but then I remembered that we'd had a conversation on how we still had to play the part as two people who hated one another, not lovers.

"I'm an open book," Katniss said, blushing lightly, "Everybody seems to know my secrets before I know them myself."

"Unfortunately, I think that's true," I tell her with a forced smile, "I'm sorry you had to cancel your wedding, Katniss. I know how _devastating _that must be for you."

I heard Finnick snicker beside me, and I turned my head to see him pop another sugar cube in his mouth before speaking to Katniss, "Have a good day."

I let out a slight chuckle as I waved goodbye to Katniss and walked over to Finnick and I's chariot with him. However, we passed Peeta Mellark on the way, and Finnick gave him a smile, "Peeta."

"Finnick," Peeta said as a greeting, looking over at me and giving me a small smile, "Penelope."

"Tributes mount up, tributes mount up," a voice says in a speaker above us, and I sigh as I step onto the chariot, Finnick doing the same.

"Make sure to wave, Penny," Finnick said as the chariot started to move forward, and I sighed, "Mhmm."

* * *

The next day we were in the training center. Which is always fun.

Please, note my sarcasm.

Finnick had advised me to try not to piss anyone off, and to try to be friendly instead. And I guess you could say that it's not exactly my thing to be friendly. Finnick had also told me that he wanted allies in the Games instead of being alone and so we agreed that tomorrow during training we would try to find some. Today, however, was just training day.

And so while Finnick went and did his own thing with knots and tridents, I went to the large room where holographs of enemies appeared and I had to defeat them. The room was made specifically for knive throwers, and so I knew that this was the place I was meant to train.

I grabbed the sack of throwing knives and slung it over my torso, taking two out and twirling them in my hands as I walked into the room and stepped onto the platform, telling the holographs to come out.

One appeared from right in front of me and I throw the dagger, hitting it in the middle of the chest, and soon enough, there are twenty-one knives laying on the ground from where the holographs "died" and one left in my hand for the last holograph. I look around and see it hopping down from a beam just above me and I don't even take a step back to hit it, I just throw the knife up and hit it in its jaw.

I collect all the knives and set the bag back where it was, and when I turn to the door of the room, I see that half of the Tributes are standing there, looking at me with mixed expressions of anger, envy, and of course Johanna Mason was there with a smirk of admiration on her face. But then Finnick was behind everyone, shaking his head with a disappointed look on his face and my slight smile drops as I walk out of the room, past everyone to talk to him.

"What? I probably just got us allies!" I told him and he shook his head at me, "No, you probably just got an even bigger target on your back then you did earlier."

Shit.

* * *

A few days later, each of the Tributes sit in a room, waiting to go and show the Game Makers what we've got, and Finnick is discussing allies with me.

"I think that we'd be best with Katniss and Peeta," he tells me and I snap my eyes to meet his, "Are you joking? Peeta nearly died last year if it weren't for Katniss, and _the only reason_ that we're here right now is because of them-"

"I know, I know, let's just... Let's just talk about it when we get back to District 4's floor, okay?" he asks and I sigh, nodding, "Okay."


	5. INTERVIEWS AND NEWS

**CHAPTER 5: _INTERVIEWS AND NEWS._**

"Finnick, there's something we need to talk about," I tell him, walking into his room. It was the middle of the night, so I know that no Avox or anyone else would be awake to hear us. Finnick stirred in his bed before letting out an obnoxious yawn that he always does and raised his arms over his head to stretch while he sat up. When he was done, he patted the spot in front of him and I walked over.

"Yeah," Finnick said, wiping his eyes from the sleep, "Allies, right?"

"Well, yeah, I guess that too," I muttered, sitting down across from him and playing with the fabric of the soft comforter, "But there's something a bit more serious."

"Go on, then," Finnick said and I shook my head, "No, you go first."

He nods, before looking down at his hands in his lap, letting out a deep breath, "I spoke to Haymitch Abernathy earlier, while you were out. He told me that there's this plan... The Quarter Quell is a fake, Penelope. Plutarch, the head Gamemaker, he's made this whole, huge plan so that Katniss and Peeta get out of the Games. To go to District 13."

"But 13... It was destroyed years ago, Finnick," I frowned and Finnick shook his head, "No, it's not. It's like an underground District now, nobody knows about it really. But now we do, because Haymitch told me that he and Plutarch are trying to find a group of Victors that they can trust to make sure that Katniss and Peeta survive long enough of the Games to be rescued. Because they're the ones that sparked the rebellion, Penelope, and they're needed to finish it. They want us along with Johanna and a few others like Beetee and Wiress."

"And they want us? They trust us?" I asked after I let everything he was saying sink in.

"Haymitch trusts me, he isn't too sure about you but I vouched for you, don't worry. I told him that I was in, that I'd ally with Katniss and Peeta," he told me the last part quietly and I looked at him before looking down at my hands as I twiddled my thumbs.

If I did ally with Katniss and Peeta, my life would be at even greater risk, but if I didn't, then I wouldn't be allied with Finnick and I couldn't have that. He was essential for my survival, if I didn't have Finnick then I'd have nothing.

"Okay, I'm in," I told him and he gave me a grin, reaching forward and squeezing my hand, "We're going to help change things, Penny."

I gave him a smile before it dropped at his next words, "What did you want to talk about? You said it was more serious than allies, right?"

I looked down and I could feel my face paling as I whispered, "I didn't go out to go have lunch with Johanna earlier."

"What? Why would you tell me-"

"I went to a physician. I haven't been feeling well lately," I explained, continuing to look down at my hands while I spoke, "I'd been throwing up a lot and I just didn't think that it was normal so I went earlier to go talk to one of the Capitol doctors about it all."

"So... Is something wrong?" Finnick asked me quietly and I looked up at him, whispering, "I'm nearly a month pregnant, Finnick."

Finnick's eyes widened and he looked down at my stomach before looking up at me again, "You're... You're sure? How... How did this happen?"

"Yes. I'm sure. And I'm pretty sure you know how it happened," I added the last part with a small, sarcastic, smile.

Finnick nodded, obviously remembering, and he looked down again and whispered, "And... It's mine?"

"Of course," I told him with an eye roll, nearly laughing at his child-like tone. I'd only offered my... Time... Once last year during The Games and it wouldn't make sense that the man I'd been with would be the father of my child, especially considering the fact that I knew for sure that Finnick was indeed the father of the child.

I touched my stomach lightly, "I don't know what to do, Fin."

"You're not sure if you want to keep it?" he asked and I nodded, "This isn't the kind of world I want to raise a child in, and I'm not even sure if I'm going to survive the Games. If there really is a rebellion, I want to be a part of it, not stuck in 13 pregnant. And if the 'rescue plan' doesn't work out... Then that leaves us in the arena with twenty-two other professional killers, Finnick. And even if we can kill them, that leaves us with each other, and I can't even think about how that would end because I can't lose you."

Finnick stared at me for a moment, and I saw that he was thinking everything through, and he didn't say anything for a few minutes before speaking, "The rescue plan will work. There's no doubt in my mind that we and the other Victors in on it can't do what we're asked; To protect Katniss and Peeta. So when we get rescued from the damned arena, and I do mean when, not if, then we'll help out as much with the rebellion as we can in 13. I'm not leaving you, I promise you Penelope. And as for the 'not wanting to raise a child in this kind of world' thing, it won't matter because by the end of the pregnancy then the world will be back to.. Well, hopefully decent."

We both chuckled lightly to his remark, and I watched as he leaned forward and rested his large hand on my small stomach, "I think you should keep it. The baby, I mean."

My eyes snapped up to his face and I saw that he was giving me a small smile, "I mean, we always talked about having kids someday."

"Keyword: Someday," I told him and it was true. I wanted kids someday, when I didn't think of myself as a killer anymore or like I had conformed to The Capitol's standards of Victors.

His smile turned into a grin, "Really, it could all work out. I mean, we get out of the Quarter Quell, get to 13, and have our child. It could work, Penelope. I think that we'd be good parents, don't you? Our child would be so loved."

I looked at him for a moment before smiling lightly and putting my hand over his that was on my stomach, "Our child."

* * *

"Thank you, thank you! Thank you for being here tonight," Caesar Flickerman told the crowd filled with Capitol citizens in front of him while each of us Tributes stood behind the stage, "On the eve of the 75th Hunger Games! We have never seen anything like this. And we will never see anything like this again. Because tonight, on this stage, twenty-four of Panem's brightest stars will vie for the ultimate crown. Tonight will be their last opportunity to express their thoughts. Our last opportunity to express our love. And heartbreakingly... To say goodbye to all but one. What a night. Let's hear it. It's so _exciting_!"

One by one, each and every Victor started to go and speak with Caesar on stage, and when it got to Finnick, I was worried. Extremely worried. Everyone had said everything that they could think of in order for the Gamemakers to end this year's concept of the Games, but no one had dropped a bomb on the audience, or Panem, yet.

"Finnick," Caesar began, "How have you been?"

"Generally, I've been great," Finnick smiled, "Until the Quell was announced, that is."

"Ah, you don't want to go in to that arena tomorrow either, just like your fellow Victors?" Caesar asked and Finnick shrugged with another smile before turning serious, "I wouldn't mind if it weren't that the woman I love is in danger."

The crowd let out a gasp, the cheers that they'd had going for Finnick Odair died down so that you could hear a pin drop. I felt my eyes widening and I clenched my fists together so tight that I thought I was going to break open the skin of my knuckles. He's just killed us both! The Capitol people adore Finnick, he had to pretend that he loved them too, so what he was doing was going to kill us. Most likely me, considering the fact that every woman who bought him would want me dead.

"Really now?" Caesar asked after a moment with an interested look, tilting his head to the side, "And would you mind telling us all who that would be, why she's in danger?"

"Well," Finnick said, looking into the camera and I watched as he dropped the second bomb of the night, "She's right backstage."

The crowd let out a roar, and Caesar was quick to quiet them down before asking Finnick, "May I guess? Your District partner, Penelope?"

"Yes."

The crowd was quiet for a moment before it erupted in "WHY NOT ME?" and "AW"s and Finnick gave Caesar a smile before heading off the stage and when he walked towards me, he grabbed me by my waist and crushed his lips against mine and my eyes widened but then I realized that this was our first ever display of public affection and I closed my eyes, kissing him back.

I broke away from him after I heard Johanna Mason yell, "Get on stage, Penelope!"

"Shit," I cursed before looking at Finnick, and he nodded quickly, giving me a smile, "Good luck."

I gave him a smile before rushing onto the stage and giving Caesar a smile, "Nice to finally see you again, Caesar."

"Ah, it's even better to see you, Penelope! You look absolutely beautiful!" Caesar said with a grin, looking at my aqua colored gown and pinned up hair before taking my hand and kissing it before starting to interview me, "So, Finnick Odair, huh?"

I blushed lightly, looking down, "Yes, we've been together for a while now."

"Why not flaunt your relationship? I mean, did you see how the crowd reacted? They love you two together!" Caesar said and the crowd cheered to prove his point though there was a few "boo"s.

I simply shrugged, "It just never seemed like a good time to tell the public, forgive me."

"You're forgiven," Caesar teased, laughing before turning serious again, "So is that all that's been new? Your relationship with Finnick?"

"Well..." I said, trailing off as a lightbulb went off in my brain as I realized that there was something that I could say. Something that could quite possibly stop the Quarter Quell. But it could also backfire against me and Finnick, and so I kept my mouth shut, giving Caesar a fake smile, "Basically."

* * *

I stood back stage with Finnick's arms over my shoulders, his chin resting on my head while we watched Johanna get interviewed and damn, was it interesting.

"We have seen a lot of tears tonight," Caesar told the crowd before looking over at Johanna, who was snickering, "But I see no tears in Johanna's eyes. Johanna, you are angry."

Johanna scoffed and Caesar nodded, "Tell me why."

"Well, yes, I'm angry. You know, I'm getting _totally_ screwed over here," Johanna snapped, and Caesar nodded again, "Uh-huh."

"The deal was that if I win the Hunger Games, I get to live the rest of my life in peace," Johanna continued, becoming more and more pissed off as she spoke, "But now you want to kill me _again_."

She chuckled humorlessly before looking towards the crowd, "Well, you know what? _Fuck_ **_that_!"**

The audience gasped and so did Finnick and I, and basically every one of the Victors and mentors back stage. Language like that was not meant for the public in our country, it would lead to consequences for her.

But then I remembered that Johanna didn't care anymore, because she had no one left that they could hurt except for herself.

"And _fuck **everybody**_ that had anything to do with it!" Johanna screamed and Caesar made an expression that say '_oh my gosh, what the hell just happened?_' and Johanna walked off the stage, heatedly rushing towards Finnick and I, starting to snap at us, "Are you two stupid? You've just signed death warrants for yourselves and everyone you care about back in 4! Mags, Annie, they're both dead because you broke the poor sponsors that you sell yourselves to's hearts!"

"Johanna, please," Finnick started and she turned to him, "They'll kill them, Finnick. Mark my words, you shouldn't have told Panem about you and Penelope."

With that, Johanna walked away from us and towards her stylist, "Fix this train wreck of a dress!"

"All Tributes, onto the stage, please!"

Each and every one of us get on stage to see the end of Katniss' interview and I watch with wide eyes to see that she is no longer wearing her wedding dress, but a black dress with wings on it. She looks like a Mockingjay.

Also known as the symbol of rebellion.

Peeta is the next, and last, to be interviewed by Caesar Flickerman, and when he gets on stage, Caesar grins at him, "Peeta! The wedding, the marriage, never to be?"

"Well," Peeta says, and I know that he's about to drop a bomb on the crowd like Finnick did, "Actually, we got married. In secret."

The audience gasped and I wanted to roll my eyes at them, they were so stupid to not see that he was making it all up. I knew now that Katniss and Peeta's relationship was a hoax, at the training center they did not seem to be in love, nor did they when I saw them walking away from the carriages a few days ago.

"A secret wedding? All right. Do tell."

"We.. We want our love to be eternal. You know, Katniss and I, we've been luckier than most. And I wouldn't have any regrets at all i-if it weren't... If..." Peeta trailed off and Caesar raised an eyebrow, "If it weren't for what? What?"

"If it weren't for the baby."

The whole crowd erupted in outrage, screaming and yelling, "A _Baby_! Come on! Call off The Games! Stop The Games! _No_!" and other things like that. But I knew better than to believe what Peeta was saying, it was a lie. There was no baby created by he and Katniss, and I don't know if there'd ever be, but what he was saying was enough to get even The Capitol people to burst out in outrage.

I felt Beetee grab my hand and I looked down at it before looking up at him and he nodded to Finnick and I understood what he meant. Everyone was holding hands as a sign of unity, I suppose, and so I grabbed Finnick's hand and he grabbed 5's female's hand and then we were all raising our arms up.

"Cancel The Games!"

"Stop The Games!"

The audience continued to yell in protest and I realized that it was not me that needed to drop the bomb about a baby, but Peeta and Katniss. For they were the ones that controlled the rebellion, not Finnick and I.

* * *

The next morning comes quickly, too quickly, and I'm reminded by a soft knock on my door that The Games aren't too far away. Two female Avox's come in after I call that they can, and they're quick to dress me in a simple blue dress and flats before shooing me off to go to where my stylist is so that way she can get me dressed for The Games. They've also given me a box with a note inside it that read, "Wear to Games to show you're allies". And I knew that Haymitch Abernathy had written the note and that the allies he wrote of was Katniss and Peeta.

I don't even get a chance to speak to Finnick during the whole process because I'm being so rushed. A man comes up to me while my short hair is being pulled into a tight ponytail, and he takes my arm and plunges a syringe into the forearm part. I know that it's my Tracker chip and I'm beginning to really stress out.

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest and my heartbeat in my ears as my breathing picks up and I know that I'm having a panic attack when my stylist literally pushes me into a huge clear tube that I know will send me into The Quell's arena.

The suit that they have me in is light and has no thermal wear and so I know that we're either going to some place tropical or desert like.

I hear a voice above me say, "Sixty seconds 'till launch."

My hands begin to shake and I'm starting to hyperventilate. The world becomes a little blurry as I watch my stylist walk away from the tube and I'm thinking too fast as well. My mind is racing with thoughts of The Games, the rebellion (and maybe the revolution), Johanna, Katniss, Peeta, Mags, Annie, Finnick, our baby, and my mind is completely aware of the fact that I'm freaking myself out but it can't stop my shaking body or the fact that I feel like I'm choking on nothing but my breath.

"Ten seconds 'till launch."

The tube lights up and I know that it's sealing me in, and then I'm being lifted up, into a tropical disaster-to-be.

There's clear blue water all around us in the shape of a circle, a pinkish yellow sky that resembles a setting sun, and the sun in hot on my face. I guess being part of District 4 is good, because I can tell now that the water is saltwater, and not fresh and good to drink.

There are tears in my eyes as I try to steady my breathing and stop my shaking limbs, and I look around to see that all of us Tributes are standing on pedestals with water surrounding us and we're in a huge circle, with the huge cornucopia in the middle, only water between us. And I see a bag of daggers hanging on the side of the huge steel thing, and I know that I need to go for that if I'm to make it out of this thing alive and help protect Katniss and Peeta.

"Finnick," I whisper when I finally find my voice, looking around with wide eyes and finally, I see him about five pedestals away.

Katniss is two from me and Peeta is nowhere to be seen. I catch Johanna out of the corner of my eye, and I'm not sure whether she's decided to ally with us all, but I know that no matter what I cannot kill her.

"_Let the 75th Hunger Games begin_," Claudius' voice says over the huge speaker over the arena, "_May the odds be ever in your favor_."

The countdown begins, and I take a shaky breath, willing myself to pull it together.

_Ten_. What if we aren't rescued?

_Nine_. What if I lose Finnick during the Blood Bath?

_Eight_. What would happen to me?

_Seven_. I have to pull it together.

_Six_. I need to be able to kill these people, like I did the last time I was in The Games.

_Five_. I have to protect Katniss and Peeta.

_Four_. I have to keep it together.

_Three_. I can't lose Finnick.

_Two_. I have to forget about the guilt.

_One_. It's time to finish these Games.


	6. THE QUELL

**CHAPTER 6: _THE QUELL_**

The cannon fires and I dive off the platform, swimming through the water with complete ease until I get to the rock platform between each metal platform that each Tribute had been standing on.

It's a race against time to see who will get to the cornucopia first, and to my surprise, I'm the first one.

I grab the bag of daggers and sling it over my torso, taking out two daggers and throwing one at District 6's tribute as he starts to run towards me, leaving him to fall back and float in the water. Dead.

The cannon fires off and I turn to see that Katniss is pointing an arrow at me and I raise my hand, showing her the small golden pin that's pinned to the wrist of my sleeve, "Allies, Katniss."

She lowers the bow in confusion and then I watch as she raises it again, and I turn my head to see Finnick. He's standing a few yards away from us, and he's smiling a little bit but I can tell that he's rigid with anticipation as he looks over at us, and I rush over to him.

"You can swim, too," Finnick says to Katniss, "Where did you learn that in District Twelve?"

"We have a big bathtub," she deadpans, staring at us with uncertainty.

"You must," Finnick says, "You like the arena?"

"Not particularly. But you two should. They must have built it especially for the two of you," Katniss says and I can hear the bitterness in her voice. It was true, we did have a huge advantage over everyone when it came to the water, but the arena wasn't just water, it was like an island and this was just the beach. I can feel the tension thickening as Finnick and Katniss size one another up and then Finnick suddenly grins, "Lucky thing we're allies. Right?"

Katniss thinks that it's a trap, I can see it from the look in her eyes that she's about to let the arrow in her grasp fly, but then Finnick raises his arm and I see a golden bangle on his wrist, like the one I saw Haymitch Abernathy wearing the day before at the interviews.

"Right!" Katniss snaps and my eyes narrow, seeing the drunk Victor from 5 coming up behind Katniss, and I shout, "Duck!"

Her eyes widen and she does so, and I throw the dagger in my hand at the man, letting the dagger lodge itself in his skull. I rush forward and take out the dagger, looking over at Finnick and Katniss.

"Don't trust 1 and 2," Finnick says to Katniss as another cannon fires, making his way towards me, "Penelope, stay with Katniss. I'll go find Peeta."

I nod quickly, and he reaches forward and grabs my arm before I can walk towards Katniss, and his eyes show concern, "Don't hold back. If we're going to survive the Blood Bath, you can't think about what you're doing."

I gulp, nodding again and he leans forward, kissing my forehead quickly before running off.

"Anything useful?" I ask Katniss as I stand a few yards away from her, looking around and seeing Gloss and Enobaria making their way towards the cornucopia.

"Weapons!" she calls back, "Nothing but weapons!"

I see Enobaria coming too close for me to feel comfortable with her nasty teeth, but she can tell that I'm about to release the dagger in my grip, and so when I let it go flying, she dives into the water.

"Grab what you want and let's go!" I snap at Katniss, not wanting to stay here any longer.

I hear an arrow being released and I look to my left to see that Katniss just shot Gloss in the calf, and he's now swimming away.

I watch as Katniss grabs another bow, a second sheath of arrows, two long knives, and an awl before hurrying over to me. But behind Katniss, I see Brutus speedily making his way over to us. His belt is undone and he's using it as a shield, and so I grab two daggers from the sack around my torso and throw them at the same time. One hits his belt, and a purple liquid comes out of it and coats his face. The second one glides across the side of his head, and I see that I've only nicked his ear.

"I found him!" I hear Finnick's voice shout, and I look to Katniss, but she's already running past me.

I can see Peeta when Katniss and I reach Finnick on the rocky piece of land between each metal plate pedestal. Peeta's still stranded there, and I realise that he probably does not know how to swim.

Katniss starts to remove the knives from her belt, getting ready to dive in, and Finnick puts a hand on her shoulder, "I'll get him."

I can see the suspicion in Katniss' eyes and I look at her, "He's not going to hurt him, Katniss."

"I can," Katniss insists, but Finnick has already dropped all of his weapons, looking over at her and reaching down, patting her abdomen, "Better not exert yourself. Not in your condition."

My eyes widen slightly and I wonder if maybe I'm over exerting myself by all the running and swimming I've done in so few minutes, but I shake off the feeling of fear, focusing on just getting through the Blood Bath. While Finnick dives in, flawlessly may I add, I look over and see that the Career pack has formed and are currently heading to the cornucopia. But they're in no hurry, they're just walking over as if they're taking a stroll.

"I'll be back," I tell Katniss, looking over and seeing that there's something hidden in the back of the cornucopia, almost hidden. Something that Katniss had missed.

It's a pack of food.

"What?" Katniss asks but it's too late, I'm already sprinting to the cornucopia and I know that there's _no_ freaking _way_ that I'm letting the Careers get that pack of food instead of me and my allies.

But as I near the cornucopia, I see that the Careers have spotted me, and they're now running to get to me.

But I know that I'm faster than all of them except for Cashmere, and so I pick up my speed. I finally get to the cornucopia and jump over the few things that are in the way and I grip the bag tightly as I turn around and shove it in the sack of daggers, taking out two daggers as I do so.

Cashmere is in front of me, twirling a knife in her hand with a grin, "Well, well, 4, didn't think you were the type to throw yourself in a death trap."

"I'm not," I tell her with a shrug, and she squints her eyes at me, and I grin at her, throwing one of the daggers at her and it nicks the side of her stomach and while she gasps and looks down at the wound, I run forward and kick her knee in. She falls to the ground and I extend my clenched fist and punch her square in the face, knocking her out.

"Didn't think you were the type to throw yourself in a death trap, bitch," I snap at her unconscious form, and I start to sprint with all the energy I have to get back to where I see Finnick pulling Peeta out of the water with the help of Katniss.

But then I feel someone pulling my short hair and I let out a cry of pain, unconsciously throwing my arm back and stabbing at whoever was holding me with the dagger in my hand. The person lets out a gurgle and I know that I'd just lodged the dagger in their throat, and I break away from them and see that it's District 9's female tribute.

I can feel someone hot on my trail and I turn my head to see that it's 9's male tribute, and I see that he's holding a long knife in his hand.

My legs are growing tired and I can feel my breathing picking up as he tries to slice at me, and I see that Katniss and Peeta are talking while Finnick is just now getting out of the water, and I scream for someone to help me, "Help!"

Finnick snapped his head towards my scream faster than anything and he quickly picked up his trident, running towards me, and I could feel the edge of the sword slicing my calf vertically and I let out a cry of pain.

"Penelope!" I heard Finnick scream, and I do the only thing that I can think of to escape 9. I jump into the water.

But so does 9.

The water is nearly clear underwater and I can see 9 swimming towards me, and so I thrash and kick at him while I try to get a dagger from my sack, but it must have slipped off my body when I jumped (without much grace) into the water.

There's a sound of the water being moved again, and I can see now that Finnick's jumped into the water with his trident in hand, and he's swimming towards 9 and I. The male tribute from 9 starts to try to stab at me without actually caring where he hits, and I'm starting to not be able to see much from the red blood from my leg that's mixing with the water.

Suddenly, 9 isn't in front of me anymore, but being flung away by a trident's points and I look around quickly, searching for the bag that I risked my life for, and find it just below me. As I reach down and grab it tightly, I can hear a cannon go off aswell and I look over to not see Finnick, and I'm starting to panic.

I feel an arm wrap around me and suddenly I'm being pulled to the surface, gasping for air.

"Are you okay?" Finnick asked me, his eyes wide with fear, and I shake my head, "I... My leg... My leg's pretty messed up."

"It's okay, you'll be okay," Finnick assured me, pulling me with him towards the rock path, and I see Peeta and Katniss above us, and Finnick pushes me forward first, "Help her. Her leg is hurt!"

I feel Peeta's strong arms pulling me up and onto the rock path and I pant from both holding my breath for so long and from the pain surging through my leg.

"We've got to go," Katniss says, looking over and seeing the Careers, and I nod, sitting up after a moment and I cringe, as I try to stand up, nearly falling if it weren't for Finnick, who had just gotten out of the water, grabbing me.

"Guys!" Peeta insists, urging us to run towards the jungle behind us and Finnick quickly puts me over his shoulders like I'm a child wanting a piggy-back ride.

Then we're suddenly running. Well, the others are running while I wrap my arms around Finnick's shoulders, holding on while they each sprint away from the cornucopia and where the Careers are. Peeta is in the front, cutting away at the vines and leaves so that we have a path, Finnick and I are second in the line since Katniss insisted that we go since Finnick had to carry me, and so that left Katniss at the end of our line, alert and checking back every few moments.

"Okay! Okay! Hold up!" Finnick said after they'd went through the jungle for nearly a half hour.

"You okay? You alright?" Finnick asked me as he set me down before sitting across from me and catching his breath.

I nod slightly, wincing as I turn my leg with my hands to inspect the cut that 6 gave me. It's deep, I can tell that much from all the blood, and I know that if it isn't tended to soon, that it'll get infected as well.

"Someone send me something for this," I whispered, looking up into the sky as if I was praying or something, "Please?"

But no little parachute came down in the following moments, and I let out a sigh.

"God, it's hot," Peeta panted and everyone nodded in agreement, "We gotta find fresh water."

Katniss stood up from her spot beside him and I watched as she climbed a small tree, looking over the branches, and I knew that she was looking at the cornucopia where the Careers were continuing the Blood Bath.

"What's going on down there, Katniss?" Finnick asked, and I watched her warily because the look she was giving Finnick and I wasn't comforting, she looked as if she just wanted to get the alliance over with and kill us. Finnick stands up, raising his trident in a casually defensive position, "Have they all joined hands? Taken a vow of nonviolence? Tossed the weapons in the sea in defiance to The Capitol?"

"No," she said.

"No," Finnick repeated looking at her with hardened eyes, "Because whatever happened in the past is in the past. And no one in this arena is a victor by chance."

"Except maybe Peeta," I told her with a small frown and Finnick nodded, "Except maybe Peeta."

It's true. Peeta is truly better than everyone in this damned arena, alive or dead. Finnick took out 6 and I took out three Victors within the first twelve minutes of the Blood Bath. And even Katniss shot to kill earlier, but Peeta would've tried negotiations or something. Finnick and I were right, nobody in the arena won their Games with compassion or peace.

Katniss' eyes flickered between Finnick and I a few times, and I can see that she's thinking quickly. Probably on who she can take out first and how she can take out the second. I grip my bag tightly, knowing that if it came down to it, I'd protect myself and Finnick over Katniss or Peeta.

The cannon goes off three times. Boom, boom, boom, and Finnick let out a slightly laugh, "See, nobody is holding hands anymore."

"And you think that's funny?" Katniss snapped at him.

"Everytime that cannon goes off, it's music to my ears. I don't care about any of them," Finnick told her, and Katniss stood up, "Good to hear."

She pulls out her long knife and I raised an eyebrow at her, "You _really_ wanna go against the Career pack alone? What would Haymitch say?"

"Haymitch isn't here."

"Let's keep moving," Peeta intervenes before any of us can argue or fight, maybe even kill one another.

But before anyone can even stand up, a light bell noise sounds through the air, and I watch with wide, hopeful, eyes. I hope that it's for me. No, I'm praying that it's for me.

Finnick stands up and catches the small box and he grins, "It's for you, Penelope."

"Yes!," I say, laughing in relief.

Finnick hands me the box and I take it from him, opening it and seeing a note in it as well as a vial.

The note read: "_For Penelope Longshot. I'm betting on you. Drink this and it will heal your wound. Good luck. - Gorje_".

"Oh my God," I muttered with a grin. Gorje was the physician I went to two days before these hellish Games. He'd been so kind to me, but I never expected this gift. I quickly drank the contents of the vial and I looked down and bit my tongue as I wiped away the blood on my wound, watching as the cut patched up almost magically.

"Thank _God_," Finnick whispered brushing away my bangs and looking up at the sky, where there was the most cameras looking down at us, "Thank you."

Finnick helped me stand up, and then he, myself, Katniss, and Peeta were on our way to go find fresh water. Peeta was leading us again, and striking down the wild plants with his machete while we walked behind him.

Well, he _was_ striking down the plants until Katniss screamed.

"Peeta, no!" she screeched.

But it was too late. Peeta had striked the force field a few yards ahead of us, and now he'd been flung back from the force, and there was some smoke coming from his body.

"Peeta?" Katniss asked quietly, quickly running up to him and turning him over, touching his face, "He's not breathing. He's not breathing. He's not breathing! _Peeta_!"

Finnick runs over and pushes Katniss away from Peeta after she started shaking him roughly, "Let me."

Katniss obviously takes it the wrong way, thinking that Finnick is going to kill Peeta, but that's not what he's doing. Finnick is trying to revive Peeta.

"No!" Katniss yelled, hurling herself towards Finnick but I intercept her, knocking her to the ground, "Katniss stop!"

"No! _No_!" Katniss yelled, pushing me off of her and going for an arrow, pointing it at Finnick and I jam my shoulder into her body, "Stop it! He's trying to save him!"

Katniss seems to come to her senses when she realises that Finnick is not closing off Peeta's nose so he can't breathe, but closing his nose so that he can breathe air into his lungs.

"Come on, Peeta," Finnick says, starting to perform CPR like I'd seen him do many times before in District 4. Finnick would spend a lot of time down by the water with me, and sometimes children would "drown" but he'd been able to bring them back before they could actually die.

Suddenly, Peeta gasps and Katniss lets out a sob crying into his chest, "You died! Your heart stopped!"

"I'm okay, it's working now," Peeta said weakly and she let out another sob, "Do you wanna stand up?"

Peeta nods and she helps him up before hugging him tightly, her hands shaking as she sobs into the crook of his neck.

I walk closer to Finnick, grabbing his hands and tugging lightly to help him stand up while he stares at Peeta and Katniss, and I know that we are both thinking the same thing.

Katniss really does love Peeta.

Even if she doesn't know it, she does. And maybe it's just as a friend or more, but she truly does love him.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello! I haven't written an author's note in a while, super sorry guys! But thank you all so much for all of your support and reviews, favs, and follows! They literally make my day 900% better and idk I love awesome feedback and you guys give me the best. Also, a reviewer wrote that "this is getting worse", is there any way that I can improve? I know that I still have to really get back into writing Penelope's character because I haven't written in MONTHS from writer's block, but I really want to know what I can do to improve. Thanks!**


	7. PANIC ATTACKS AND MUTTS

**CHAPTER 7: _PANIC ATTACKS &amp; MUTTS_**

Finnick intertwines our fingers and I look up at him, "You did good, Fin."

He grins down at me, "Haven't you realized by now that everything I do is done good?"

I snort, letting go of his hand and playfully pushing him lightly, "You're such a dork, Odair."

Finnick shot me another goofy grin before the four of us started to walk again, searching for food since the only thing in the pack that I'd gotten was a few crackers and nuts, and they wouldn't do good for the whole thirsty-ness thing.

Katniss told Peeta, Finnick, and I to wait where we were before going and climbing a huge tree, coming down about five minutes later, "The force field, it's a dome. We're at the edge of the arena. I couldn't find any signs of fresh water," Katniss told the three of us.

"It's gonna get dark soon," Finnick said, "We'll be safe with our backs protected. We should set up camp. Take turns sleeping. I can take first watch."

Katniss laughed humorlessly, "Not a chance."

"Heh," Finnick chuckled, standing up, holding his trident tightly as he turned serious, "That thing I did for Peeta back there... That was called _'saving his life'_. If I, or Penelope, wanted to kill either of you, we would have done it by now. So you can stop looking at us like we're about to pull something because guess what, honey, we're not."

Finnick walked away from her and towards where I sat against a tree, curled up with my arms wrapped around myself.

"You okay, sweetheart?" Finnick asked me, sitting down on the huge tree root beside me. I nodded, giving him a small smile, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Finnick insisted, looking at me more intently, and I bit my lip lightly, looking down, "I'm just..." I paused, not wanting to admit it out loud, but then I sighed, "I'm just scared, Finnick."

"Don't worry," Finnick told me, playing with my hair lightly, "Everything will be fine. Remember what I said when this all started? I'm going to protect you with everything I have."

I looked up at him when he touched my cheek lightly and I leaned into his touch, "I love you, Finnick."

Finnick gave me a small smile, leaning down and pecking my forehead before doing the same to my lips, "Just as I love you, Penelope."

I started to drift off into sleep a few minutes later to Finnick petting my head. But then the Panem Anthem started to play throughout the dome, and I looked up at the sky as the dead Tributes started to show up.

The Tributes popped up one by one: District 5's male, District 6's male, District 9's male, District 9's female, District 10's female, and District 11's female.

Then I realize that I'd killed three out of the six that died today and Finnick killed one.

The Careers weren't the ones running the Blood Bath. _I_ was.

"Oh my God," I whimpered as I realised it all. I'd taken more lives today, I told myself that I wouldn't let anyone else die because of me and I just went back on that.

I could feel my breathing picking up as I sat there, my hands beginning to shake as well. These stupid panic attacks were getting worse and more frequent and I feared that I was going to become like Annie one day. I was starting to hyperventilate as tears formed in my eyes and started to fall as my hands started to shake even more and I let out squeaks of breaths.

Suddenly Finnick was in front of me while the world started to go blurry, and he spoke quickly, "Penelope. Penny, look at me. Okay? You're fine, you're safe."

"I-I c-can't," I panted, looking around wildly, and Finnick grabbed my face, making me look at him, and I could feel Katniss and Peeta's eyes on us but I made sure to pay attention to what Finnick was saying while he spoke to me.

"You're safe, okay?" he asked me and I nodded and so he continued, "You did what you had to do to protect yourself and Katniss, okay? This doesn't make you a bad person, you were defending yourself. You're fine, you just have to calm down, okay?"

I shook my head, "C-can't. F-Finnick, I-I c-can't!"

I was starting to hyperventilate again and I heard Peeta ask, "What's wrong with her?"

"She used to get panic attacks a lot after her Games," Finnick tells them, looking over at where they sat, "They only get worse and worse."

I let out a sob, trying to get myself to calm down like I did earlier. I started to count down from ten to one, trying to give myself ten seconds to panic like this before calming down. But I started to cry again after I got to six.

"Come on, Penny, calm down, please," Finnick pleaded, and I could hear all the concern in his voice as he held my face so that I'd look at him, and he leaned his forehead against mine, his eyes closed as he let out a sigh, "Please, baby, calm down."

Then I think about it by the nickname. Baby. The baby could be hurting from me freaking out. I take a few calming breaths as I close my eyes and lean my head into Finnick's while I start to calm down.

Suddenly, a bell noise rings through the air lightly, and I open my eyes and look up to see that another parachute is falling down towards us, and Katniss stood up, running over to it, "It's from Haymitch. It's... It's a spile!"

"A what?" Finnick asked and I nodded in agreement. Neither of us were familiar with the word "_spile_" and I didn't know what it could be.

"It's a spile. Sort of like a faucet. You put it in a tree and sap comes out. Well, the right sort of tree," Katniss explained, looking around.

"_Sap_?" I asked, I wasn't familiar with that word either.

"To make syrup," Peeta said, "But there must be something else inside these trees."

Suddenly all four of us were up, running towards the closest tree. We're all thirsty, and maybe even dehydrated. Katniss takes a rock from the ground on the way towards the tree she's picked, and jams the spile into the bark.

At first nothing happens but then a drop of water rolls down, and suddenly there's a thin stream falling from the spile's opening. We take turns holding our mouths under it, and Finnick insists that Katniss drinks more for her "_baby_" and I pretend to be more thirsty than I actually am so that I can do the same.

Without the threat of dehydration creeping up, we all realize exactly how exhausted we are.

"I'll take the first watch," Finnick said, sitting down on the big tree root he'd been on before, and Katniss starts to argue again, but then stops herself short. I guess that she decided not to pick a fight again, like she realized that Finnick really wouldn't harm her or Peeta.

I curl myself up under the makeshift hut that Peeta had made earlier, but not close enough to him so that he, or Katniss, could hurt me in my sleep.

And for the first time since The Quell started, I get more than two hours of sleep.

However, that sleep doesn't last long because soon enough there's bonging noises all around the arena. I let out a groan, wondering why there has to be something else added in The Games while I lay back down and cover my ears until the bonging ends.

"I counted twelve," Katniss said.

"Midnight?" Finnick pondered aloud, and Katniss looked over at him, "Or the number of Districts."

Suddenly there's a crackling noise, and thunder is rumbling throughout the air, and I sat up quickly to see that there's a tree a few miles away that's being repeatedly struck by lightning but never set on fire.

"Well... If you're not gonna sleep, I will," Finnick told Katniss, and I can tell that she had gotten up much before the bonging noises.

"Okay," Katniss said.

Finnick stood up and walked over to me with his trident in his hand, and he sat down beside me, opening his arms and I quickly take his invitation, crawling forward and curling up into his side while my head rested on Finnick's chest.

* * *

I'm waken by a scream; Katniss'.

"Run! _Run_!" she screamed and I stood up, prepared to fight someone, but then I see a huge wall of fog heading our way, and Katniss runs past Finnick and I, "Run! Peeta, get up, hurry!"

"What is it? What is it?" Finnick asked, bewildered as he gripped my hand tightly while we ran away from the fog.

"Some kind of fog. It's poisonous. Hurry, Peeta!" Katniss said, but Peeta was moving slower than usual and we each knew that it was the effects of hitting the force field earlier. The fog seems to be coming from all angles, and I almost lose my footing as we dodge tree roots and vines, but then Finnick pull me up before I could hit the ground, "Run, Penelope!"

Finnick let out a scream of pain when part of the fog touched his neck while we ran and Katniss also lost her footing, and I could see her and Peeta being stung by the poisonous cloud as Finnick and I ran towards them. Soon enough, Peeta was on the ground and when we reached them, Finnick picked him up with the help of Katniss while I stood just behind them, carrying our weapons while they support Peeta.

Then we were racing away, trying to escape the fog while we each had let out our own cries of pain when the fog touches our skin, and then we fell. We fell down a hill and when we landed I was gasping for air while I could feel the welts growing on my skin. I regained my breathing, somewhat, and looked around and saw Finnick unconscious and Peeta not much better off. Katniss, however, was crawling towards a small pond and my eyes widened as I watched her scream in pain while she dipped her hand into it. I looking back and saw that the fog was pressing against an invisible wall, and that it couldn't reach us, and I let out a sigh of relief before crawling towards the water.

"The water! The water helps!" Katniss yelled, and threw herself into the pond. Peeta _really_ woke when he heard her yelling, and crawled over before washing off the welts on his body. I finally made my way into the pond myself and I let out a scream of pain when it felt like little needles were stabbing me everywhere.

When I was finally okay again, I got out of the water and ran over to a groaning and nearly crying in pain Finnick, and I called out, "Peeta! Help me get him into the water!"

Peeta rushed over and helped me, pulling Finnick along until he was in the water and woke with wide eyes, screaming in pain.

"We need our weapons," Katniss says and it's then that I realise that I don't have my sack of daggers with me.

Soon enough, Peeta comes back a few minutes later with Katniss' bow, my bag of daggers, and Finnick's trident, along with his own machete, and he hands each of us our weapon of choice. Finnick let's out a sigh of relief when I tell him that he's okay, that all the poison filled welts are gone, and he sits up.

While he, Katniss, and I clean off our weapons, Peeta starts to put the spile into the best tree that he can find, and then I feel Finnick's large hand on my shoulder, "Penelope, I'm gonna need you to not freak out, and slowly stand up."

I give him an odd look as he slowly stands up, and he's looking in front of us while Katniss stands up with her bow ready to shoot.

I slowly stand up and look around, my eyes adjusting to the slight darkness around us, and I see many shapes moving closer to us. And as they move closer, I see the shapes for what they truly are.

"You've got to be kidding me," I whispered, barely audible over the crunching of leaves and the grunting leaving the monkeys in front of us' mouths.

I remember my Games, thinking of the second to last day. How three other Tributes died, and how _I_ also almost did.

_The monkey in front of me let out a high-pitched howl and my eyes widen and I close my mouth tightly as the monkey lets out a screech in my face, the spit from its disgusting mouth spraying over my face._

_But then suddenly it isn't just in front of me while I'm crouching down in front of it, now there's three of them on me. They're tackling me and I'm screaming in pain when they start to claw at me, and I finally break free and kick them away from me._

I'd run from those monkeys the whole night until I'd finally jumped into the lake at the edge of the arena, and I had found out that they couldn't swim.

So yes, I was indeed freaking out.

"Peeta," Katniss said, "Walk over here slowly."

Peeta looked towards us before glancing back at where the spile was, and a monkey roared in his face. Peeta slowly makes his way over to the three of us. Katniss whispered when Peeta got to us, "Get to the beach!"

But when I looked over, I saw that the monkeys were blocking the path and I closed my eyes, taking a calming breath.

It was either get over my guilt and fear, or die at the hands of someone due to both of those feelings.

So when I saw a monkey lunging towards Peeta, I threw a dagger at it. The dagger sunk through the monkey's torso and I ran over and got it out and as soon as that monkey stopped breathing... The others sprung into action.

Finnick, Peeta, Katniss, and I started to fight them off one by one. It soon became too much and each of us were beginning to lose the battle against the monkey mutts.

"We gotta get to the beach!" Peeta yelled, running with Katniss towards the opening that revealed the beach along with the cornucopia.

But then Peeta's pushed to the ground by a monkey, and I watched with wide eyes as a Morphling from 6 runs in front of Peeta and lets the monkey sink its teeth into her chest instead of Peeta's.

I turned my head and saw Finnick fighting off a monkey and I threw a dagger at its head, watching as Finnick looked at me with slightly widened eyes, obviously not thinking that I was that accurate with my throws.

"Come on, Finnick!" I yelled to him and he nods, running over while Katniss and Peeta grab the female Morphling after they kill the monkey that'd been chewing on her flesh.

"We _seriously_ need to get away from these things!"


	8. LOST SOULS

**CHAPTER 8: _LOST SOULS_.**

**"..._Why am I here? Who could I be? Could I be the hero? Could I be the villain? Trying to be productive, trying to make a living inside this world, somehow I do looking at the glass, ceiling reminiscing, pistol in my hand, hatred in my heart I'm sorry for, painting that view View of violence, into your subconscious, what the TV does too I mean who could you blame? I mean who could you blame? Cause we're ooh-oohhh... Trapped in the vine Feel left behind Moon walking for, what you losing your mind? You're losing your mind... C'mon, lost souls. Souls, souls. C'mon, lost souls. Ah-ooo. It's you, and you and you, and you_... " - Raury.**

* * *

Finnick and I ran to catch up with Katniss and Peeta while also trying to defend ourselves from the monkey mutts, and we were all breathing hard from the fight and running as we got to the beach.

Peeta and Katniss dragged the Morphling into the water and Finnick and I kept our weapons out incase we needed to fight again. Except there was no more monkeys, only the dead ones that we'd left in our path.

The Morphling was breathing hard, incredibly hard and I could tell by her breathing that she had a punctured lung. She was gasping like a fish out of water like I had been earlier, and I couldn't stand to watch the woman dying away.

"I'll go get your arrows and my daggers," I said quietly to Katniss after I hear Peeta shushing the Morphling, telling her that everything was okay. But then the cannon fired, and I sighed, watching from a few feet away from everyone as a hovercraft appeared and took the Morphling out of the water with a huge claw.

I heard footsteps coming closer to me as I walk through the trees, and I turn my head quickly to see Finnick walking over to me. I visibly relaxed and continued to walk with him silently following me.

"Are you okay?" Finnick asked me, and I nodded, not looking back at him as I did so, "I'm okay."

"Are you sure-" Finnick started but I had cut him off, turning towards him and grabbing his hands, "Finnick, you're okay. I'm okay. Katniss and Peeta are okay. We're _all_ okay."

Finnick understood my double meaning, I could see it by the look in his eye. We'd both silently decided it'd be better not to let anyone know, especially everyone watching these Games, that I was carrying his child.

I let go of Finnick's hands after he gave them a light squeeze, and then I went and started to collect my daggers while Finnick grabbed Katniss' arrows.

By the time we were done, the sun was starting to come up slowly, like dawn was coming. Finnick dropped Katniss' arrows by her side, "Thought you might want these."

"Thanks," Katniss said. She stood and went towards the water, where I was, and started to do what I was and wash off her arrows. We both worked in silence until Katniss spoke, "I'm sorry."

I looked up at her, frowning lightly, "For what?"

"You and Finnick. I trust you two now," she said, then corrected herself, "Well, somewhat. No offense."

"Non taken," I told her with a smile, "I wouldn't exactly trust myself either. When the Games were announced, I wanted to ally with the Careers. But you and Peeta are much better company."

We finished cleaning our weapons and when we went to go to the jungle for some moss, we found that the monkey's carcasses were gone.

"Where'd they all go?" Katniss muttered, and I frowned, "I don't know..."

Katniss got her moss before walking off, but before I could catch up with her, I saw that I'd missed a dagger and that it was buried in a tree trunk a few yards away. I walked over and started to pull it out, but it wouldn't budge.

Then there was something wet hitting my head and face, and I looked up to see nothing except for a few clouds, and I shook it off as just drizzling as I finally got the dagger out of the tree.

Suddenly there was a downpour on me, and it was hot and thick. I looked around and saw that it wasn't hot water, but red, dark red blood falling onto my body, and I held in a scream as I started to run, trying to get back to the beach but the blood was cancelling out my sight.

I was about to call out to Finnick or Katniss, maybe even Peeta, but I knew that if I did that, I'd be giving myself away to whoever was in here with me.

"Tick tock!" I heard a voice cry, "Tick tock, tick tock!"

"Nuts, shut the _fuck_ up!" I heard another voice screech, and I stopped in my tracks. It was Johanna!

"_Johanna_!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I didn't even think about yelling to her, because I trusted that she wouldn't kill me. Well, hopefully. I got a mouthful of the disgusting metallic taste, and I spat it on to the ground."

I started to gag on the blood filling my mouth and nose, and I heard Johanna's voice again, "Penelop-"

Her voice was cut off by a noise and I realised that Johanna was puking.

"Johanna!" I yelled again, "Where are you?!"

I was choking on the blood again, and I hunched over, letting out the contents of my stomach. I felt a hand on my back and I stood with a yelp, wiping away at my eyes and seeing for a split second that it was Beetee, Wiress, and Johanna in front of me.

"Thank God!" Johanna said, dragging Wiress with her while she held on to Beetee's arm, "Let's get out of this shit jungle!"

We continued to run blindly, and then I felt the soft sand under my feet instead of the jungle's ground, and I let out a delirious laugh as I wiped away the blood on my eyes.

"Come on, Nuts!" Johanna snapped, wiping away the blood on her eyes as well and motioning for Wiress to come out of the jungle. Beetee stepped forward and held out a hand for the woman, and she made her way out of the jungle and I could see that she was shaking from fear and muttering, "Tick tock."

"Penelope?" I heard Finnick yell and I turned my head, "Finnick!"

"Finnick!" Johanna yelled as well, and Finnick let out a laugh of relief, "Johanna?"

He started to run over to us, and when he got to us, he grabbed my shoulders, "What the hell were you thinking, going alone in there?!"

"I saw one of my daggers," I said weakly, "Sorry."

"Why are you four covered in... Blood?" Finnick asked, changing the subject, looking at Beetee who was on his back, Wiress who was walking in circles, and Johanna and I as we stood beside each other.

"We thought it was rain, you know, because of the lightning, and we were all so thirsty. But when it started coming down, it turned out to be _blood_!" Johanna said as Peeta and Katniss came up to stand by Finnick.

"Thick, hot blood," I added, "You couldn't see, you couldn't speak without getting a mouthful of it!"

"We just staggered around, trying to get out of it. We found Penelope puking her guts out just after Blight hit the force field," Johanna continued.

"I'm sorry, Johanna," Finnick said. I remember that Blight was Johanna's counterpart from 7, and he never even bothered to show up for training.

"Yeah, well, he wasn't much, but he was from home," she said before looking at Beetee and Wiress, "And he left me alone with these two. Beetee got a knife to the back at the Cornucopia. And her-" Johanna gestured to Wiress, who was continuing to circle around muttering "tick tock" a bunch of times. Johanna rolled her eyes, "Yeah, we know! Tick, tock. Nuts is in shock."

Johanna pushed Wiress to the ground harshly, "Just stay down, will you?"

"Lay off her!" Katniss snapped at Johanna.

The said girl narrowed her eyes at Katniss in hatred, hissing, "_Lay off her?_"

Johanna took a step forward and slapped Katniss so hard, I thought that she was going to faint or something, "Who do you think got them out of that bleeding jungle for you? You-"

Finnick stepped forward and tossed her writhing body over his broad shoulder, carrying her out into the water and repeatedly dunked her under while she screamed at Katniss, "You fucking bitch! - Stupid! - I fucking swear-"

Katniss gets out an arrow and looks like she's going to shoot Johanna but then she lets it drop to the sand as she realises what Johanna said about getting Wiress and Beetee out for her.

I ran out into the water to both rinse off the blood and to help Finnick calm Johanna down.

"I'm fine! I'm fine!" Johanna finally screamed after I got to them.

"You sure?" Finnick snapped at her and she shot him a glare nodding before looking at me, "Didn't expect you to be allied with those two, Penelope."

"Yeah, me neither," I told her before looking over to the beach where Katniss and Peeta were working on waking up Beetee and cleaning up Wiress, "But they're better than being with the Careers."

Johanna only nodded before cleaning herself off and walking away from Finnick and I without another word, only turning back when she was a bit away from us to say, "I'm glad you two are still alive."

Finnick and I nodded at her, silently telling her that we felt the same way, and then I'd sunk to the floor of the salt water beach and started to scrub at my suit and skin.

"I'm going to go get some fish for everyone," Finnick told me, looking down at me, and I looked up at him, nodding, "Okay. I'm sorry, Finnick."

"Don't be," he told me, "You just wanted your weapon, it's okay."

I nodded and he placed a hand on my head affectionately patting it lightly before walking away. I was finishing washing my hair when I heard Finnick yell, "Penelope! Come on, we're going to the Cornucopia!"

I stand up and start to swim towards the Cornucopia. When I get there, everyone else is just arriving, and I sit down on a rock while Wiress comes and sits down next to me.

"This entire arena seems to be laid out like a clock with a new threat every hour," Katniss told us all, "But they stay only within their wedge. It all starts with the lightning at twelve o'clock. Then the blood rain, fog, monkeys. That's the first four hours. At ten, the big wave hits from over there."

"Wiress, you're a genius," Finnick told the shocked woman as he walked past us.

"Look, the tail points to twelve," Peeta said and Katniss nodded, "That's where the lightning strikes at noon and midnight."

"Strikes where?" Beetee asked as he held a coil of wire in his hands.

"That big tree," I said from where I sat, gesturing towards the largest tree in the arena.

"Hickory dickory dock. The mouse ran up the clock," Wiress sung the nursery rhyme from next to me, "The clock struck one, the mouse ran down. Hickory dickory dock."

Wiress continued to sing and she grabbed my hand, swinging it up and down lightly as she sang the song, "Hickory dickory dock. The dog barked at the clock. The clock struck three... Hickory dickory dock!"

Wiress let go of my hand and turned around, seemingly listening to what everyone was saying, but she's still singing.

Suddenly, I see a ripple in the water and my eyes widen and a hand wraps around my wrist and pulled me down, into the water before I could scream, and I opened my eyes in the clear blue water and saw that it was Gloss that had grabbed me. I knew that there was no way that any cameras would be down here. Gloss and I had spoken all but twice, but we were friendly, and so I didn't reach for a dagger, but swam back a foot.

But then Gloss went to drive a knife into me and I wildly shook my head, patting my stomach and mouthing "_baby!_" to him. Gloss' eyes widened, looking down at my stomach, and then he narrowed his eyes at me, mouthing "_remember this_" before swimming up to the top.

As I swam up to the top of the water, I watched as Gloss drove a knife through Wiress' back, and then Katniss shot an arrow into his temple. My mouth dropped open, and then I watched as chaos unfolded and Johanna threw her axe into Cashmere's chest.

I watch with wide eyes before I swam and I tried to get on to the Cornucopia's rocky platform, but failed as I watched Finnick fight off Brutus and receive a knife in the thigh from Enobaria. Then I see District 10's female running up to join the fight.

I feel the water shifting around me, and then Enobaria is there, grabbing my arm and pulling me up and with her down the rocky strip platform, towards the jungle with Brutus ahead of us. She's dragging me along and had cut off my bag, leaving my daggers to float to the bottom of the salt water "ocean".

I look back as I try to fight against her grip to see that the circle of rocky land that holds the Cornucopia is spinning fast. Really, _really_ fast. I see a body fling off of it, but I can tell that it's Cashmere from the long blond hair. Then I see Gloss' huge body being flung. I can't tell who the third body belongs to, so I scream of horror when I see Finnick started to slip, I can tell that its him from the bronze-colored hair and trident in his hand.

Then I feel something hit my head and the last thing I see before the world faded into a black nothingness, was Brutus grabbing me and throwing me over his shoulder and he, Enobaria, and I going into the jungle.

* * *

_Boom_. _Boom_. _Boom_. _Boom_.

Three cannons had gone off. Gloss, Cashmere, Wiress, and the last one was unknown.

"Penelope?" Finnick called out, running up to the water, "Penelope!?"

He looked around wildly as he searched the scenery for her, but he couldn't see any sign of the woman he loved that was carrying his child.

"You don't think she was the fourth... Right?" Peeta asked quietly to no one in particular.

"Don't say that!" Finnick snapped, looking over at him before turning around and screaming into cupped hands, "_Penelope_!?"

"Finnick," Johanna said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder, and he continued to scream for Penelope.

"Finnick!" Johanna said louder, and he ignored her again, and finally she grabbed his face, making him look at her, "She's gone."

Finnick sunk to his knees, staring out at the water where he'd last seen her, thinking one thing; _She couldn't be gone_.

"Let's get off the bloody island," Johanna grumbled, grabbing Finnick's arm and hoisting him up and dragging him with her and he followed her, shaking his head to clear his thoughts and he took his arm out of her grasp and heatedly walked to the beach with everyone.

"So besides Brutus and Enobaria, who's left?" Katniss asked.

"Maybe Chaff," Peeta said, "And 10 or Penelope. Just those four."

"They know they're out numbered. I doubt they'll attack again. Not unless they want a trident in their throats," Finnick added the last part with a growl before speaking again, "We're safe here on the beach."

"So what do we do? We hunt 'em down?" Johanna asked.

Before anyone could say anything, a young girl's scream ripped through the air, "_Katniss, help me!_"

"Prim!" Katniss yelled, horror overcoming her entire being. Her sister was in trouble, she could hear her screaming, "Prim! Prim! No!"

"Katniss, Katniss, wait!" Finnick yelled, running after her.

"Prim! Prim!" the screaming continued and Prim continued to scream for Katniss, "Prim!"

"_Katniss! Ahhh! Help me! Help me!_" Prim screamed, "_Ahh-_"

Katniss shot down a bird and the screaming ceased the moment that the arrow struck the bird.

"Katniss!" Finnick yelled, running up to her, "You okay?"

"It's okay, I'm okay," Katniss told him, "I thought I heard my sister but-"

Before Katniss could explain to him that it was just a trick that the Gamemakers and the Capitol were playing on them, another scream that both Katniss and Finnick recognized pierced the air. And it sounded even more pained than Prim's voice did.

"_Finnick!_" it was Penelope's pained voice, "_Finnick!_"

The color vanished from Finnick's face, and his pupils dilated in fear. And then he was running past Katniss, she followed him easily. Because even though he was sprinting towards Penelope's voice, he was leaving a clear, trampled path in his wake. When Katniss caught up with him, she found him at a large tree, screaming over and over for Penelope. Her screams were coming from above him, in the tree and the bird that's using her voice is hidden in the foliage.

"Penelope! _Penny_!" Finnick screamed. He was in a state of panic and completely unreachable by Katniss. She did the only thing she could think of, and shot down the jabberjay creating the noise. It landed at Finnick's feet, and he picked it up, making the connection.

But when Katniss got to him from where she'd been to shoot down the bird, she saw that Finnick looked more despaired than before.

"It's all right, Finnick. It's just a jabberjay. They're playing a trick on us," Katniss told him, "It's not real. It's not Penelope."

"No, it's not Penny. But the voice was hers," Finnick says looking at her, "Jabberjays mimic what they hear. Where did they get those screams, Katniss?"

Katniss grew pale, realising that maybe he meant that Prim was being tortured, and that maybe, just maybe, Penelope really was alive and she was being hurt badly, "Oh, Finnick, you don't think..."

"Yes, I do. That's exactly what I think."

"_Katniss! Ahhh no!_" it's Katniss' best friend, Gale's voice this time.

Before Katniss can run again, Finnick grabbed her arm, "No. It's not him. We're getting out of here! It's not him, Katniss! It's a mutt! Come on!"

They started to run, running away from the jabberjays that are beginning to fly overhead. Then, they saw Peeta, Johanna, and Beetee standing there, just standing there. And both Finnick and Katniss wondered why they didn't come for them as they ran towards them. Both of the two start to run towards them, hoping to escape the birds, but then they run into an invisible wall, a force field.

Katniss lands on her shoulder, but Finnick lands on his face, his nose now bleeding badly, and then the birds start to swarm them, screaming with different voices. Prim's, Gale's, and Penelope's.

"_Finnick! Finnick, help me! Help me!_"

"_Katniss! Katniss! Help!_"

"_Finnick stop them! Make it stop! Please! Help me!_"

"_Katniss! Ahh! Help us! Help!_"

Katniss and Finnick both sunk to the ground, clasping their hands over their ears, wishing that they could lose their hearing than hear those screams.

An hour goes by, and Katniss was being comforted by Peeta while Johanna ran to Finnick. He'd been sitting there, staring off like he had been earlier, though this time he seemed much more fazed.

"Are you okay?" Johanna asked him softly and he didn't even look at her, waving her away as he whispered weakly, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine."

* * *

It was night when I woke up.

The Panem anthem is what woke me.

I was leaning against a large tree, looking up at the sky.

Cashmere was the first to appear in the sky, then Gloss who had spared me, Wiress who had died by not being strong enough mentally, the Morphling from 6, Blight who had walked into a force field, 10's female, and Chaff from 11.

I sighed in relief as I figured out that nobody in my alliance had died today, and I was even more relieved that Finnick was still alive and okay.

But I didn't know if I would be.

* * *

**A/N: OMG 117 FOLLOWS, 82 FAVS, AND 27 REVIEWS OMG I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! Thank you to purplepecky, peygoodwin, bubblegumgirlr, guest, .77 (I'll answer your question after I'm done thanking people lol), Adriana Swan, smkbaby123, Dancing-Souls, Superdani4Ever, and Castiel Angel Heart for all of your reviews! Also, I got a question asking if the baby is going to be a boy or a girl... Well, the answer will be shown in the next two chapters! Sorry, sucky answer, I know, but don't worry, it'll be revealed soon!**

**Leave some reviews for this chapter please! I'd like some feedback instead of just "update soon" (NOT THAT I DON'T LIKE THOSE I LOVE EVERY REVIEW I GET) but yeah! Love you guys!**


	9. SCREAM MY NAME

**CHAPTER 9: _SCREAM MY NAME._**

**"... _Love it when I'm play pretending, when I can take bullets to the heart. Fucking up my happy ending, but I can take bullets to the heart... Breathing violence and love, I was born on the scene. Now it runs in my blood. Yeah, you know what I mean. When I'm dead and gone, will they sing about me? When I'm dead and gone, will they scream my name? Wake up, got up. And I'm bored. Night runs with guns, too hardcore. Don't dare to care 'bout someone, under our eyes, is that wrong?_ ... " - Tove Lo.**

* * *

I stood up, stumbling slightly and I touched my forehead and felt some warm blood on my fingertips from the wound that either Brutus or Enobaria inflicted on me.

I continued to trudge around, until I heard voices ahead of me.

"We shouldn't have left her there, Brutus!" it was Enobaria and she was snarling at her District partner.

"She's as good as dead!" Brutus snapped back at her, "And she's not a threat anymore, not without any weapons and if you hadn't noticed: Everything from the Cornucopia is in the _ocean_!"

"Whatever! Let's just go kill those stupid kids," Enobaria told him.

My eyes widened and I trudged after them, holding onto my head while I did so. A cannon went off as I staggered around, and I looked around wildly, my ears slightly ringing from the noise. Then, I heard a voice screaming.

"Peeta! Peeta!" _Katniss_, I told myself. Katniss was screaming, and she was screaming for Peeta.

I started to run, ignoring the pounding in my head, and I nearly tripped a few times as I ran towards her voice. Then, I heard another voice that almost made me stop in my tracks. Finnick's voice.

"Katniss!" he's yelling, "Katniss, get away from that tree!"

"_Finnick_!" I howled, screaming at the top of my lungs, "Finnick!"

"Penelope!?" I heard Finnick yell, then he's yelling again, "Katniss, don't!"

I'm running to his voice, but then suddenly there's an explosion above me and I realize something as a dot of light shows.

The arena is _crumbling_.

Everything is erupting. The earth is exploding into showers of dirt and plant matter, trees are bursting into flames, and even the sky is filling with bright-colored blossoms of light.

I shield my eyes and watch as the arena begins to _really_ fall apart, and scraps of metal are falling down all around me, making trees crash to the ground.

And then there's a hovercraft above me, reaching down and sinking its metallic claws around my body and lifting me into the air before I could run.

I'm screaming like a madwoman, I know that because I can't stop screaming. I'm screaming for some one or something to help me, and for Finnick to help me, but nothing works.

I look down and see that Katniss is laying on the ground, seemingly paralyzed, and I know that this is her doing, that she did something to make the arena explode into chaos and cause even more destruction.

"Penelope!" I heard a yell from below me, and I try to escape from the cage around me, but I can't. I'm afraid. I'm so, _so_ afraid of what's going to happen after I get into that hovercraft above me. I'm having another panic attack, I can tell because I can hear my heartbeat in my ears and my breathing is the heaviest it's ever been. I'm screaming, over and over, and I know that I'm not going to be okay in the end. I'll end up like Annie if I'm stuck in that Capitol, I'll be too far gone mentally by the time I die there.

"Finnick!" I yelled, tears falling from my eyes as I looked down at him. I knew that he had to leave and get Katniss out in order for the rebellion to flourish, "Run! Run! Katniss is that way, get her out! Run!"

"I can't! Not without you!" Finnick cried, and I shook my head at him, smiling, "I'll be okay. Please, Finnick, baby, go. _Go_!"

I watched as Finnick gritted his teeth together before looking down then looking back up again, "I'll get you out, I promise!"

"Finnick, go!" I yelled again, crying harder than before.

He stared at me for a moment before running off, and the last thing I saw before going out of the arena, and into the hovercraft, was Finnick reaching Katniss.

And then I'm in the hovercraft.

I'm stuck in the arm with a syringe, and I'm writhing in the people around me's grip, trying to fight them off but I know that it's no use.

There's no use fighting The Capitol by myself.

* * *

Finnick Odair, the Capitol darling, was cracking and breaking.

He was going through the worst thing he could think of and it was tearing him apart.

"There has to be _something_," Finnick croaked, his voice hoarse from the crying he'd gone through when he first woke on the hovercraft that was carrying him, Katniss, Beetee, Plutarch Heavensbee, and Haymitch Abernathy. They were headed to District 13.

"We can't risk it right now, Finnick," Plutarch told him, "The chances of retrieving her and the others are so slim. We're not even in 13 yet."

"I don't care!" Finnick said, turning from despaired to angry in a matter of moments, "We can't let them hurt them, hurt Penelope! _I_ can't let them!"

"You both knew what you were getting into when you agreed to ally with the kids," Haymitch said, and Finnick turned to him, "Don't you think that I know that? We knew that we'd be risking our lives for them, but we didn't know that we could be taken by The Capitol! I... They're going to kill her!"

"No, Finnick," Plutarch said with a shake of his head, "I know how these people think. As long as you're alive, they'll keep her alive for bait."

"You don't understand!" he said, slamming his hands down onto the table, not even acknowledging the slight pain in his arm from where the tracker was taken out or the cuts on the side of his face from the monkey mutts.

"Don't understand what!?" Haymitch asked, a prominent frown on his face from the annoyance he was starting to develope with Finnick.

"She's pregnant!" Finnick finally yelled, and then the door opened to show Katniss standing there, her hands clenched in fists with a pale face. She glanced around at everyone in the room, and Haymitch went into her line of vision, looking down at the syringe in her hand.

"So it's you and a syringe against the Capitol? See, this is why no one let's you make the plans. Drop it," he tells her, grabbing her right wrist and squeezing it until she let it fall to the ground, then he made her sit down in the chair next to Finnick while he and Plutarch sat across from them.

Plutarch offered for her to eat something, but she didn't touch the broth in front of her. She just looked at Haymitch. The drunk sighed, "Katniss, I'm going to explain what happened. I don't want you to ask any questions until I'm through. Do you understand?"

Katniss nodded numbly, and the Haymitch finally told her the plan from the start.

There was a plan to break the Victors that were with the rebellion out of the arena from the moment that the Quell was announced. The Victors from 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, and 11 had varying degrees of knowledge about it all. Plutarch had been, for several years, part of an undercover group who wished to overthrow the Capitol. Plutarch made sure that the wire was one of the weapons placed in the Quell. Beetee was to blow a hole in the force field. Most of the Districts were now in a full-out rebellion.

"You didn't tell me," Katniss said in a ragged, hoarse voice.

"Neither you nor Peeta were told. We couldn't risk it," Plutarch told her.

"I still don't understand why Peeta and I weren't let in on the plan," Katniss said.

"Because once the force field blew, you'd be the first ones they'd try to capture. The less you knew, the better," Haymitch said.

"The first ones? Why?"

"For the same reason the rest of us agreed to die to keep you alive," Finnick said quietly.

"No, Johanna tried to kill me," Katniss said, shaking her head, thinking back to when Johanna had hit her in the head with a rock and then went and cut into her arm.

"Johanna knocked you out to cut the tracker from your arm and lead Brutus and Enobaria away from you," Haymitch said.

"We had to save you because you're the mockingjay, Katniss," Plutarch told her, "While you live, the revolution lives."

Katniss was silent for a few moments, surely coming to realization with what they were saying, and also realizing that Haymitch had lied to her and Peeta.

"Peeta," Katniss whispered.

"The others kept Peeta alive because if he died, we knew there'd be no keeping you in an alliance," Haymitch said, "And we couldn't risk leaving you unprotected."

"Where is Peeta?" Katniss hissed at him and he stayed silent for a moment before speaking.

"He was picked up by the Capitol along with Johanna, Enobaria, and Penelope," Haymitch told her, dropping his gaze from her face to the metal table.

In a matter of seconds, Katniss was there, raking her nails down Haymitch's face and leaving blood over his cheeks and damage to his one eye.

"You _lied_ to me! You said that you'd pick him over me this time! You lied to me! You're a liar!" Katniss screamed at him. Finnick grabbed her, trying to drag her out of the room, and it took Haymitch all that he had not to rip her apart. But she's the mockingjay. And he can't hurt her.

Minutes later, Katniss was tied down to a metallic table in the room she'd been in before, heavily sedated but not enough to where she was asleep. No, she was trapped without control, only having the power to move her eyes.

"Katniss. Katniss, I'm sorry," Finnick said from beside her, sitting down next to the metal table, "I wanted to go back for him and Johanna, but when I got to you... It was too much, I couldn't move."

She doesn't answer him, and Finnick let out a shaky breath, "It's better for him than Johanna and..." he took another shaky breath, not even able to say Penelope's name, "...Her. They'll figure out he doesn't know anything pretty fast. And they won't kill him if they think they can use him against you."

"Like bait?" Katniss said to the ceiling, not looking at him. His words meant nothing to her, and she couldn't feel pity for Finnick, no she was so angry with him. Just when she thought that they could've been friends if it weren't for the Quell, he ruined it by not finding Peeta. Katniss looked up at the ceiling, "Like how they'll use Penelope and your baby for bait, Finnick?"

Finnick let out a sob after a moment, _fully_ realizing the situation they were in.

Penelope was taken to the Capitol, where she was _hated_ by President Snow. She was carrying his child, and he doubted that either of them would make it out unless they found a way to survive. They probably wouldn't bother questioning her, Finnick knew that Penelope had a mental illness during the Games, but now... Now she'd probably be too far off into the deep end with the fear that they'd be causing her. And it's then that Finnick realizes something else and he lets out another sob, clutching his head.

"I wish she was dead," he said to Katniss with his hoarse voice, "I wish they were all dead and we were, too. It would be best."

It's true, Finnick wished that. He knew that even if he got Penelope, his child, Johanna, and Peeta back, that they'd each be different. Even if the rebel forces overthrew the Capitol, President Snow's last act would be to kill them all. No.

He'd never get her back, and so dead was best.

* * *

When I woke, I didn't know what was happening.

Where was I? The Arena? Home? In 13? The Capitol? _Dead_? Was I dreaming of the bright light above me, or the voices speaking beside me?

"Patient's name is Penelope Longshot. Victor of the 69th Hunger Games. Survivor of the third Quarter Quell. Suffers from a panic disorder and PTSD. Under many sedatives that are not harmful for her pregnant being, she will not be able to move until taken off of them," a voice said, and the voice held a Capitol accent that made me want to puke. I squeezed my eyes shut as the memories of the past flooded my memory.

Waking in the jungle, only to find that Brutus and Enobaria had left me to die from my head injury or by the hands of someone else.

Hearing Katniss and Finnick then running to them.

Katniss shooting at the top of the arena with a wire attached to her arrow.

The arena crumbling.

_Being taken in a hovercraft by The Capitol._

I opened my eyes again and blinked away the tears as I stared upwards.

"After undergoing several MRI's, surgeries, and being feed through tubes for twenty-one days, the patient has finally woken up," the woman's voice said and then the owner of the voice appeared in my line of vision. She wore light gold eyeliner around her eyes, but nothing else was there to show that she was part of The Capitol. The woman had light blonde hair that was pinned up in a tight bun on the top of her head, and her eyes were a dark brown, almost black looking, and it was the complete opposite of her white outfit.

I'd been out of it for _twenty-one days_? That's nearly a month! I glanced down, and saw that there was a bump on my stomach and I let out a sigh of relief, realizing that they hadn't done anything to Finnick and I's child.

The woman suddenly raised her hand and I saw a bright light in my eye but I didn't wince or move my head, I couldn't. I could only blink and move my mouth.

"The patient's eyes are good. Vitals are good. Breathing is slightly uneven, but under the circumstances it is expected. Questioning will be done now," the woman said into a little device before setting it down on something and then there was a machine making a noise, and I realized that it was the bed that I was tied to, moving up slowly so that I was sitting and I saw that the woman had sat down in front of me.

She was giving me a small smile before she said, "I've been your doctor for the past twenty-one days. My name is Judy Sive. I understand that you may feel confused and disoriented, but I will answer what I can, as long as you coöperate. Understood?"

I opened my mouth, my voice feeling strange and cracky, very hoarse, "Yes."

"Okay," Judy nodded with a smile, "The next few questions may seem silly, but it's to test your mental stability as well as your memory from your head injury that we fixed. So, please, tell me your name if you can."

"Penelope Longshot," I told her, my voice still cracking.

"What is your birthdate?" was the next question.

"July 18th," was my answer.

"How old are you?" she asked.

"If I'm correct, the Quell started a week before my birthday, so I'm twenty-four now."

"Okay. Those are the basics. Now," Judy said, leaning towards me as she held the device recording our conversation up, "Do you know how many months pregnant you are?"

"Two and a half," I said, "And I _swear_ to _God_, if you people did _anything-_"

"Calm down, Penelope. We have done nothing to harm your children, we've only accelerated their growth by two months, so that way we could see if they were harmed during the Quell," Judy explained, and I grew angry with her, "You _what_! It's my- Wait. _Wait. _Did you say _children_?"

Judy gave me a confused look, "You don't know?"

"Don't know what?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"You're now four and a half months pregnant with twin boys."

* * *

**A/N: _AW SHIT_. I'm back from my week break, and it feels good to be writing again! The amount of times I post now are going to slim down to once, maybe twice a week due to the fact that I started my first ever sport! I'M DOING WINTER TRACK FOR MY SCHOOL YAY! Lol, I'm really happy that I'm actually doing a sport and getting in shape, excuse my weirdness. Anyway, HOLY COWS THANKS FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS AND FOLLOWS AND FAVORITES OMG.**

**Thanks &amp; answers:**

**Thank you to readerlover16, guest, bubblegumgirlr, purplepecky (thanks, I try to keep my readers on the edge of their seats when they read this!), Handara (Penelope is in The Capitol now, and they took her for leverage like Johanna and Peeta), Audrey (Thanks for your review! I've never gotten one in another language!) 123 (lol, hope you liked this chapter!) Hello (Brutus and Enobaria did take her, and they were going to kill her but I guess I wanted to show that they still had some morals, and they weren't going to kill a defenseless girl who was mid-dying anyway), Leithold (Don't worry, neither Finnick nor Penelope will be dying anytime soon, neither are their children! You will see soon how Penelope will really function in the revolution! Also, don't worry your English was perfectly fine!) guest (yep, Penelope's in The Capitol), and smkbaby 123!**

**I love every single review that I get, and I'm so lucky to have so many people who help me grow as a writer and support me.**

**Let's try to get 10 - 20 reviews before I post again on either Sunday or Wednesday?**

**LOVE YOU GUYS LOTS xxx.**


	10. MEET ME HALFWAY

**CHAPTER 10:_ MEET ME HALFWAY._**

**"... _I can't go any further than this. I want you so badly, it's my biggest wish... Girl, I spend my time just thinking thinking thinking 'bout you. Every single day yes, I'm really missin' missin' you, and all those things we used to used to used to used to do. Hey, girl, what's up, it used to be used to be just me and you... I spend my time just thinking thinking thinking bout you... Meet me halfway, right at the borderline. That's where I'm gonna wait for you. I'll be looking out, night n' day. Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay... I can't go any further than this. I want you so bad, it's my only wish... Girl, I travel round the world and even sail the seven seas. Across the universe I go to other galaxies. Just tell me where to go, just tell me where you wanna meet, I navigate myself to take me where you be... 'Cause, girl, I want, I, I want you right now. I travel uptown, I travel downtown, I wanna have you around like every single day, I love you always... Can you meet me half way? (I'll meet you halfway). Right at the borderline, that's where I'm gonna wait for you. I'll be looking out, night n' day. Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay... Let's walk the bridge to the other side, just you and I. I will fly, I'll fly the skies, for you and I. I will try until I die, for you and I... Can you meet me half way?_ ..." - The Black Eyed Peas.**

* * *

Finnick hated everyone. But more himself than anyone else.

The only people that he didn't hate were in The Capitol, most likely dead or being tortured for information, and the other two were with him in 13.

It'd been a whole month since he and the others were rescued from the arena and a whole month since he'd seen Penelope. He'd had no information on if she or his child were alive, if Johanna was alive, if Peeta was. Nothing. Nearly no one spoke to him nowadays, only Annie and Mags (who had been rescued from 4) if they thought that he was in a good, or even decent, mood.

Finnick couldn't stand himself.

He'd watched Penelope get taken by The Capitol's hovercraft and now he couldn't do anything about it. All he knew for sure was that one way or another, he'd always hate a part of himself for not picking her over Katniss Everdeen in the end.

"Finnick," a light voice said quietly from outside of his door. Annie Cresta. She and Mags had been rescued from 4 before President Snow could get his hands on them, "Katniss' mother asked for us to walk with her, Coin is having a meeting that we are required to go to, so..."

"Okay," Finnick mumbled, standing up from his bed/cot. Finnick slipped on his slippers and grabbed the less than a foot in length, thin piece of rope that he'd found on the hovercraft a month ago. It was the piece of rope that had kept him from breaking down again and helped distract himself from his thoughts and the things going on around him.

As he and Annie walk down the hall with Katniss' mother and a few other people in hospital nightgowns and robes just like he and Annie, Finnick tied different knots into the rope before untying them and doing different knots. And he repeated the routine over and over again. It was part of his therapy, yes, but it seemed like more than that for him.

"Hey, Finnick," a voice said, but Finnick ignored it and continued to tie knots.

"Finnick!" the voice said again, the person nudging him, "How are you doing?"

"Katniss," Finnick said, gripping her hand that she'd placed on his to shake him lightly. He was so relieved to see someone else familiar other than Annie and Mags; he hadn't seen Katniss nor Beetee since they arrived in 13. He was also relieved that Katniss had finally talked to him. They hadn't spoken to one another since they got to 13. He honestly thought that she was still angry with him, maybe even hated him. Finnick asked, "Why are we meeting here?"

"I told Coin I'd be her Mockingjay. But I made her promise to give the other tributes immunity if the rebels won," Katniss told him, "I told her to promise in public, so there are plenty of witnesses."

"Oh. Good. Because I worry about that, you know, for Penelope. That she'll say something that could be construed as traitorous without really realizing it," Finnick said.

"Don't worry, I took care of it," Katniss told him, squeezing his hand before letting go and heading straight for the podium at the front of the room. She came back a moment later after speaking to Coin, and then she's standing next to Finnick while they both listened to Coin speak to the audience surrounding her. Words weren't wasted in 13, so the leader of 13 (and the portion of 12 that survived the bombing done by The Capitol), Coin, was listened to intently by the crowd.

Coin told the audience that Katniss had consented to be the Mockingjay, provided the other Victors - Peeta, Johanna, Enobaria, and Penelope - would be granted full pardon from any damage they do towards the rebel cause. In the rumbling of the crowd, there was mumbles of dissent. Nobody doubted that Katniss would want to be the Mockingjay. So naming a price - one that spared possible enemies - angered them. Katniss stood indifferent to the hostile looks thrown her way.

The president of 13 and 12, Coin, allowed a few moments of unrest before continuing, "But in return for this unprecedented request, Soldier Everdeen has promised to devote herself to our cause. It follows that any deviance from her mission, in either motive or deed, will be viewed as a break in this agreement. The immunity would be terminated and the fate of the four Victors determined by the law of District Thirteen. As would her own. Thank you."

President Coin walked off the small stage and away to God know's where, and Finnick looked over at Katniss, knowing exactly what Coin meant.

If Katniss stepped out of line, they were all dead.

* * *

It had been two days since I last spoke with Judy.

After she'd dropped that little bomb of having twin boys only five months from now, she'd left at my request.

It was odd. Judy was from The Capitol, she was definitely a citizen, worked under President Snow's orders. Yet she didn't seem like it. From the way that she dressed to the way that she spoke (despite the Capitol accent), or the way that she wouldn't speak to me like I was a criminal like the rest of The Capitol's staff did here: She just didn't seem to be one of _them_.

A knock on my blank white room's door sounds through my thoughts, and then Judy walked in with one of the smoothie-like drinks that they give me.

The day before, she'd simply walked in and gave me the gross smoothie and then walked out, coming back a half hour later to take the bottle.

They didn't trust me with utensils to eat _actual_ food, no they thought that I'd use them as weapons. And they were oh so right, because if I had gotten my hands on a fork or a knife: I'd ruin whoever came in to my room. They probably guessed I'd do so, so they gave me plastic bottles like I was a child or something.

I was surprised when Judy handed me the drink instead of giving me the straw so I could sip on it, and I looked up at her, giving her a questioning look.

She sighed, glancing over her shoulder before looking down at me, saying so quietly I could barely hear her, "I took you off some of the sedatives. You can use the upper half of your body."

I looked down at my arms and tried to raise my right hand, and it felt so odd, but it moved up. My eyes widened and Judy sat the bottle on my lap before moving away and sitting across from me in the chair that'd been positioned in front of me for the past three days.

"Why?" I finally whispered with my hoarse voice. Seems life after all the screaming I'd done a month ago and being in a "coma" as Judy called it, for a month, my voice was still damaged. After I'd gotten enough strength to pick up the bottle and bring it to my lips and drinking the gross concoction, I'd asked her this.

"Let's just say that the real enemy here isn't in this room," she said vaguely, but my eyes flicker to the door, where who knows what is behind it, and I whispered, "Are we being watched?"

"No. There's a guard outside the room, but that's it," Judy told me, "I'm staying for a bit if you have any questions. I told you that I would answer what I could, and then I will ask you some questions as well."

I barely nodded, "Who else is here? I mean, who else was taken to The Capitol after Katniss blew up the arena?"

"Yourself, Johanna Mason, Peeta Mellark, and Enobaria."

My face paled, I could honest to God feel all the blood leave my face when she told me that. Peeta wasn't rescued like we had all planned for. He was in The Capitol, probably being tortured. And Johanna. Oh, Johanna was probably worse than him! They'd probably had killed her by now.

"I know what's happening to them. You people are torturing them, aren't you?" I snapped, looking up at her.

Judy looked down, fiddling with her thumbs, "I don't know. I don't work with them, only you."

"Why aren't you all torturing me too?" I asked, The Capitol was sick. They didn't care if I was pregnant or not, no, they only cared about getting information.

"We don't want to harm your children," is her answer and I shook my head, "No. Why aren't you _really_ hurting me?"

Judy glanced to the door again, leaning in and whispering, "I need you to have your strength."

"For what?" I asked, now completely confused. First she gave me back the feeling in my arms, now she's telling me that she needs me to have my strength.

"For when they come for us."

I stared at her blankly and Judy sighed again, speaking very quietly, "There's a plan for the best troops from 13 to come get us. You, Peeta, Johanna, Enobaria, myself-"

"What? You're lying. Nobody is coming for any of us, let alone you," I hissed at her, "You're _lying_."

"I'm not. I've been in on the whole Quell, just like Plutarch Heavensbee and some other important people. I'm still undercover," she told me.

I leaned forward in the bed that was moved to a sitting position, barking at her, "I don't want lies! You're a _liar_!"

"Please, Penelope, calm dow-" Judy started, standing up and trying to place a hand on my shoulder, and I grabbed her wrist, pulling her into a headlock in a moment's notice.

"Help!" Judy screamed while I held her head in my arms, "Help!"

A man entered the room, wearing an all white suit of armor like a peacekeeper, and I narrowed my eyes, "Stop moving or I break her neck!"

The peacekeeper man stopped in his tracks, holding up his hands, "Calm down, okay. Just let her go."

"No, not until you go and give me back the feeling in my legs. Take off the sedatives. Now!" I barked and when he did nothing, I narrowed my eyes at him before looking down at Judy, "Were you lying to me, Judy? Are you really part of the rebellion?"

"No!" she finally revealed, crying as she realized that I could kill her, "No, I'm not! We need information, I was supposed to gain your trust!"

I placed some pressure on her neck, "Who is really here, other than myself?"

"I wasn't lying about that! I swear, Peeta, Johanna, and Enobaria are here! Finnick, Katniss, and Beetee were taken by the rebels!" Judy told me, "Let me go, Penelope!"

"Why should I? You people are monsters!" I shouted, "I want out!"

"We can't let you go!" Judy sobbed, "We can't!"

I gritted my teeth together and looked up at the peacekeeper, "I thought I said to take off the sedatives! Get the needle to cancel them out!"

"Get it," Judy said to him, "Go on, get it!"

He came back a few moments later with two needles, and I pushed Judy harshly to the ground and stuck the needle into my arm, but then I was starting to feel woozy, and I slumped back into the bed/seat.

Judy stood and turned to the peacekeeper, "Get him. Now."

The peacekeeper nodded and ran out of the room, and Judy turned to me, frowning, "So sad. You had so much potential to be fixed."

"I do not need to be _fixed_. There's nothing wrong with me," I whispered, realizing that I'd been too stupid and naïve and that now there was a good chance that they would kill me or maybe even torture me.

"Oh, honey, if only that was true," Judy said with a shake of her head, and I ground my teeth together, spitting out, "You had so much potential to not be a bitch that's following around a psychopath, Judy. So sad."

Suddenly, Judy's slapping me across the face, and my face flew to the side, and my eyes widened before I turned my face to look at her again, "I swear to God, when I get out of here-"

Another slap across my face, and Judy went to raise her hand again, but then the peacekeeper came back into the room and behind him was a man who made me want to puke.

_President Snow._

"Ah, Penelope, dear. So good to see you," President Snow smiled and I scowled at him in response.

"Now, I'll get to the point here," Snow said, sitting in the chair across from me while Judy and the peacekeeper man stood behind him, "You are a criminal and an enemy to The Capitol as well as the loyal Districts. You have no rights while you are here and are a pawn for me to play, you are also bait for the rebels and so that is why you are still alive. We tried one form of interrogation and that has now proved to be the wrong method."

"I won't tell you anything," I spat at him.

"If you won't willingly give information for us against the rebel cause, then we will have to use a different form of interrogation."

"You'll torture me?" I asked with a humorless, delirious laugh, "I'd love to see you do so. Really."

"Maybe we won't torture you, maybe we'll do that to your dear Finnick Odair."

Something about his words made me falter, and I sat there, staring at him, whispering, "What?"

"Finnick is on his way to The Capitol right now. When he gets here, maybe I should just torture him. Won't take much to break him," Snow said with a chuckle at the end.

I spat towards him, "You disgust me!"

Snow pulled out his handkerchief and wiped at the spit that landed on his pant leg, and then he looked at me, sighing, "Well... I didn't want to have to do anything like this. You brought it upon yourself."

I didn't have time to ask him what, because he'd stood up from the seat and walked out without another word, only saying to the peacekeeper, "You know what to do."

Judy left with President Snow, and then I was left alone with the peacekeeper, and he walked over, taking off his white and black mask to show that he was a pale man with dark blonde hair and brown eyes, "Who else assisted in the plan to start the rebellion?"

"I don't know," I said, lying through my teeth.

The lie gave me a slap across the face.

"Who else assisted in the plan to start the rebellion and get the rebel Victors out?"

"I said I don't know!" I said. Instead of a slap across the face, I got a fist, and I was shocked that the man did so. I moved my jaw around a few times before spitting out some of the blood that came from when I'd bit the inside of my mouth, "You hit like a girl."

"Who else was in on the plan?" the peacekeeper shouted at me and I shouted back, "How about you go fuck yourse-"

Another punch and I coughed a few times as I felt more blood fill my mouth.

"Answer me! Who else was in on the plan?!"

"I don't know!" I shouted back, "I'm not going to say anything!"

"Tell me who was in on it, or when Finnick gets here, I'll beat him in front of you," the peacekeeper said darkly.

"Shut up," I said, "I don't know who was in on it, and even if I did, I wouldn't tell you!"

On and on, it went and each time I wouldn't give him a sufficient answer: The peacekeeper would either slap or punch me.

By the time that President Snow came back in the room, my face didn't look like much more than a bloody mess. I was pretty sure that my nose was broken.

I moved my head, the only thing that I could move, and looked the President of Panem in the face through the tears and blood in my eyes. I gave him the nastiest look that I could muster as I told him, "You can torture me," I told him with a gasp in my hoarse voice, "Break my soul, take my life away, beat me, hurt me, kill me, but _for the love of_ _God_ don't touch _him_."

* * *

**A/N:** **REALLY SHORT CHAPTER SO SORRY! Thanks to everyone that followed and reviewed the past two days, I really appreciate it! Hope this chapter wasn't too bad, I'm in the process of writing a much longer one right now with much more Finnick and maybe even a reunion between him and Penelope! Leave some reviews about your comments on this chapter! Love you guys xx.**


	11. THE HANGING TREE

**_QUICK A/N_: This chapter will have mentions of_ (**SPOILER**) _miscarriage. You'll understand what I mean later, but I just wanted to inform everyone before hand. I hope that it doesn't upset anyone. Thanks for reading!**

**CHAPTER 11: _THE HANGING TREE._**

**"... _Are you, are you, coming to the tree? They strung up a man, they say who murdered three. Strange things did happen here no stranger would it be if we met at midnight in the hanging tree... Are you, are you coming to the tree? Where dead man called out for his love to flee. Strange things did happen _****_here, no stranger would it be if we met at midnight in the hanging tree... Are you, are you, coming to the tree? Where I told you to run, so we'd both be free. Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be, if we met at midnight in the hanging tree... Are you, are you, coming to the tree? Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me. Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be if we met at midnight in the hanging tree_ ..." - Jennifer Lawrence.**

* * *

"I can walk a little now," Beetee told Katniss as he used a chair with wheels to move around. They were going to look at weapons, but they were catching up on the way there, "It's just that I tire so quickly. It's easier for me to get around this way. How's Finnick doing?"

"He's... He's having concentration problems," Katniss answered. She didn't want to say he had a complete mental meltdown, because he hadn't fully gotten there yet. Yes, Finnick wasn't doing very good. He was depressed nearly all the time when Katniss saw him, and he seemed borderline suicidal from the guilt and worry that he was the cause of Penelope, Johanna, and Peeta's torture and maybe deaths. Especially Penelope.

"Concentration problems, eh?" Beetee smiled grimly, "If you knew what Finnick's been through the last few years, you'd know how remarkable it is he's still with us at all. Tell him I've been working on a new trident for him, though, will you? Something to distract him a little."

Katniss nodded, wondering if a distraction was really the thing that Finnick needed but she still promised to pass on the message.

* * *

Finnick couldn't sleep.

Actually, he usually could get an hour or two in everyday after the first week of being in 13, but right now he couldn't get any.

So instead of staying in the bed/cot that he'd been given, he decided to go look for someone to talk to.

Mags had stayed in the infirmary with Katniss' mother and Primrose "Prim" Everdeen, and a few of the sick, helping tend to them. Today, Annie had offered to stay with the three to help with a young man named Justece who had PTSD episodes from the bombing in 12.

Finnick had wandered around the set for the rebellion promo shoot, knowing that Katniss would be there, and when he saw her standing over a monitor, watching a few minutes of the tape that she'd just filmed, he decided to go up to her.

Katniss didn't look like the girl who woke from nightmares or sick with guilt. No, she looked like a warrior with a large stature, her face smudged but good-looking. Her brows black and drawn in an angle of defiance and there was wisps of smoke - suggesting she'd been extinguished or about to burst into flames - rising from her clothes.

Finnick smirked a little, a bit of his old humor coming out, "They'll either want to kill you, kiss you, or be you."

Katniss let out a slight laugh at what he'd said before she was rushed off back onto the set she'd been on before and then she had to yell the line that the rebels had planned. Katniss lifted her bow over her head and yelled with all the anger she could muster, "People of Panem, we fight, we dare, we end our hunger for justice!"

There was silence on the set and it seemed like an infinite silence until finally the intercom crackled and Haymitch's acerbic laugh filled the studio. He contained himself just long enough to say, "And that, my friends, is how a revolution dies."

* * *

"Katniss!" Finnick called, running up to her and another man named Boggs. Boggs was Katniss' personal bodyguard for while she went to 8. That was the plan. Since Katniss couldn't really sell the act that she was in battle, she and Haymitch decided it'd be best to put her in _actual_ combat and just film her then.

Finnick wanted to go, he wanted to help. If it meant getting one step closer to The Capitol, he wanted to do whatever he could to contribute.

"They won't let me go!" Finnick told her, "I told them I'm fine, but they won't even let me ride in the hovercraft!"

Katniss looked at him, her eyes traveling from his bare legs showing between his hospital gown and slippers, his tangle of bronze hair, the half-knotted rope twisted around his fingers, the wild look in his sea-green eyes; And she knew that any plea on her part would be useless. Even Katniss didn't think it would be a good idea to bring Finnick. So she smacked her forehead, "Oh, I forgot. It's this stupid concussion. I was supposed to tell you to report to Beetee in Special Weaponry. He's designed a new trident for you."

At the word "_trident_", Finnick's face lit up, "Really? What's it do?"

"I don't know. But if it's anything like my bow and arrows, you're going to love it," Katniss told him, "You'll need to train with it, though."

"Right. Of course. I guess I better get down there."

"Finnick?" Katniss said as he started to turn away, "Maybe some pants?"

Finnick looked down at his legs, fully noticing that he was still wearing his hospital gown. Then, he whipped it off, leaving him in just his underwear. He probably looked like a fool, but he was in a good mood now, "Why? Do you find this-"

He striked a ridiculously provacitve pose, "-Distracting?"

Katniss let out a bark of laughter and Finnick grinned because it seemed like for a moment, the two had forgotten about everything and they were the same two people they were before the Quell.

"I'm only human, Odair," Katniss said before getting in the elevator door and Finnick waved goodbye to her as she and Boggs disappeared behind the doors.

Finnick tied back on his hospital gown before walking quickly to the Special Weaponry level of 13, excited to see his new trident.

When he got there, Beetee seemed to be waiting for him, and Finnick raised an eyebrow at the man in the rolling chair.

"I knew that you'd want to go with them and that Katniss would have forgotten to give you my message," Beetee told him before rolling his chair away and Finnick ran to catch up with him before walking beside him, "It's good to see you Finnick. How are you holding up?"

"As well as expected, I guess," Finnick said before glancing down at him, "And yourself?"

"I'm great. Well, no, I wouldn't say _great_," Beetee said with a small frown as they continued towards the room that held all the weapons in process of being made, "There is the fact that I can't walk much because I tire too easily. Then I'm also worried about you and Katniss, along with Johanna, Peeta, and Penelope."

Finnick didn't mean to, but he flinched when Beetee said that. He'd pushed his fear and guilt out of his mind for almost an hour, and then it was back.

"But then there's the good things. Now I can _really_ start helping the rebellion," Beetee continued after a moment, "And I can put my all into the cause. Speaking of which, we've finally come to our stop. This is your new trident I've created for you."

It was beautiful. The trident was golden and had very sharp points, but there was also something hung beside the trident; a metal cuff.

Finnick hesitantly grabbed it and felt that it wasn't too heavy but not too light either. It was just perfect.

"What's the cuff for?" Finnick asked as he looked down at Beetee.

"Try it on," Beetee said and Finnick did so and saw that there was a button on the side of it.

"And the button?"

"Throw the trident, then press the button," Beetee instructed, pointing beside Finnick to his right. Finnick turned his head and saw that there was a dummy a few yards away.

He took a shaky breath, realizing that it would be the first time he threw such a weapon since the Quarter Quell. But then he pushed the thoughts of the people he'd killed with the trident he'd had in the past out of his mind and he threw it, letting it fly into the dummy's chest.

"Good aim," Beetee commented before saying, "Now, press the button on the cuff. Be ready."

Finnick did as he was told, still confused slightly, and then he watched as the trident started to return to him. His eyes widened and he caught it with ease, but he looked over at Beetee with the same widened eyes, "How the hell did you do this?"

"It's somewhat complex. I'm afraid that you might not understand," Beetee told him, "The metallic chambers inside of the trident has been hooked up with the-"

"Yeah, no. I'll just go with it," Finnick told him with a slight laugh. Beetee returned it with a grin, nodding his head. Then, the television above them turned on suddenly, and they both looked up to see Katniss on the screen.

"_Katniss_," it was Cressida's voice, she was a resident director from The Capitol that joined the rebellion along with her camera crew, "_President Snow just had them air the bombing here in District 8 live. Then he made an appearance to say that this was his way of sending a message to the rebels. What about you? Would you like to tell the rebels anything?_"

"_Yes_," Katniss whispered, then louder, "_Yes. I want to tell the rebels that I am alive. That I'm right here in District 8, where the Capitol has just bombed a hospital full of unarmed men, women, and children. There will be no survivors_."

Katniss seemed shocked, and then her shock seemed to turn to fury as she spoke, "_I want to tell _people that_ if you think for _one second _the Capitol will treat us fairly if there's a cease-fire, you're deluding yourself. Because you know who they are and what they do_."

Katniss' arms flung out, indicating the horror of the smoking buildings and fires around her, along with the few bodies that littered the street, "_This is what they do! And we must fight back!_" Katniss got into the camera with rage, "_President Snow says he's sending us a _message_? Well, I have one for him. You can torture us and bomb us and burn our Districts to the ground, but do you see that?_"

The camera switched from Katniss to planes burning on the roof of a warehouse across from them, The Capitol seal on a wing glowed clearly through the flames. Katniss was shouting now, "_Fire is catching! And if we burn, you burn with us_!"

Her words were so powerful, they were so real, so much different from the script that she'd been given hours ago, and the effect that it would have on Panem would surely be in the rebels' favor.

And the words continued to play through Finnick's head.

_If we burn, you burn with us._

* * *

There would be another propo at dinner time.

Finnick had decided that he wanted to go talk to Katniss, since she was the only one keeping him sane anymore, and he'd found her in her bed in the hospital.

He had to stay there, at the hospital. He'd had so many mental relapses that he basically lived there. Finnick would either wake from screaming or just not be able to speak or move because of the guilt running through his veins, his brain, his very being.

So there he was, bringing his tray of food to Katniss' bed so they could watch the newest propo together on the television. The rebels aired the "_Because you know who they are and what they do_" propo that Messalla edited. The footage was intercut with short studio clips of Gale, Boggs, and Cressida describing the incident.

Finnick didn't applaud or act all happy when it was done. He just said, "People should know that happened. And now they do."

It was true, the Districts had to know that 8 was bombed that day and that people were dead. They _needed_ to know.

"Let's turn it off, Finnick, before they run it again," Katniss urged him. Finnick went for the remote control, but then Katniss cried, "Wait!"

He dropped his hand and he looked intently at the screen. The Capitol was introducing a special segment and something about it is familiar. It's Caesar Flickerman, and they could only guess who the guest would be.

It was Peeta. He looked as he did a few days before, when he asked for a cease-fire of the war, but there was a few noticable changes. He'd lost at least fifteen pounds and had a nervous tremor in his hands. He was still groomed, but underneath the paint on his face was bags under his eyes and the clothes cannot conceal the pain he has when he moves. He was badly damaged.

Then Katniss realized that there was no indication of when the first interview was recorded, and so it could be a month since the first interview and this, the one on television, was the one from the current times.

But there's someone else there besides Caesar and Peeta.

It was Penelope Longshot.

Her transformation from when Finnick and Katniss had last seen her in the arena was so much worse compared to Peeta.

Her hair was longer, pulled up into a bun, and her eyes were flickering around every few seconds, as if she was searching for someone to come attack her. Her hands were trembling slightly like Peeta's and there was bags under her eyes as well. She had a split lip and definitely a reconstructed nose, and the most evident transformation was her body. She seemed to have lost at least twenty pounds.

And the most obvious thing was that Penelope didn't look like she was two months pregnant, she looked like she was nearly five.

Finnick's mouth dropped open and he clenched his fists in anger as he watched the screen. He was starting to shake from both the anger he had towards The Capitol and President Snow, and from the fear that had just been confirmed. Penelope wasn't okay, and she was in danger. They were probably torturing her and experimenting on their child.

"Oh, Finnick," Katniss whispered, looking over at his shaking form. Finnick didn't say anything, just continued to stare at the screen.

"_So... Peeta, Penelope... Welcome back, again_," Caesar said to the two, looking at the camera before looking directly at Penelope, "_I've already spoken before with Peeta, but not with you, Ms. Penelope. Peeta and I have already caught up before. But you, you I have not caught up with. You've obviously been through some things, had a different Game than Peeta did_."

"_You could say that_," Penelope said, her voice cracking and hoarse, almost speaking quietly. Finnick rested his hands on his forehead, growing more stressed with each passing moment.

"_Well, let's start with your pregnancy_," Caesar offered.

Unconsciously, Penelope rested her hands on her growing belly, smiling lightly, "_What's there to tell?_"

"_How about the father?_" Caesar asked.

"_Finnick_," Penelope said with a small smile, glancing towards the camera, "_Finnick is the father_."

Finnick took a shaky breath as he rubbed his temples. Katniss reached over and rested a hand on Finnick's shoulder, letting him silently know that she was there for him while they watched the interview.

"_That was my guess_," Caesar nodded with a smile, looking down at her stomach, "_Have you been told the sex?_"

"_Sexes_," Penelope whispered.

"_I'm sorry?_" Caesar asked, "Sexes_?_"

Penelope took a breath, looking over at the camera, smiling lightly and it was as if she was talking to Finnick alone, "_Twin boys. We're having twin boys_."

Finnick's heart stopped, he couldn't believe what he'd just heard. It wasn't _a_ child, no, it was _two_. Twin boys, he couldn't not smile a little at that, but then he remembered that any day now, the babies (along with Penelope) could be killed by The Capitol.

"_That's... Incredible news_," Caesar said with a smile before changing the subject suddenly, looking over at Peeta. He asked him about rumors that Katniss was taping propos for the Districts.

"_They're using her, obviously_," Peeta said, "_To whip up the rebels. I doubt she even really knows what's going on in the war. What's at stake_."

"_Is there anything you'd like to tell her?_" asked Caesar before glancing at Penelope, "_Or you to Katniss or Finnick, wherever they are?_"

"_There is_," Peeta said, looking at the camera, "_Don't be a fool, Katniss. Think for yourself. They've turned you into a weapon that could be instrumental in the destruction of humanity. If you've got any real influence, use it to put the brakes on this thing. Use it to stop the war before it's too late. Ask yourself, do you really trust the people you're working with? Do you really know what's going on? And if you don't... Find out_."

Then, Penelope was speaking, looking directly at the camera like Peeta did, "_Katniss, Finnick. If you both are watching... Just... Know that they haven't broken us. Not yet_."

"_That's enough for tonight,_" Caesar said and Penelope grew quiet, staring at the floor as her whole body seemed to tremor with fear, just like Finnick's.

Then the screen turned black, the Seal of Panem showed up, and then the show was over.

Finnick pressed the button to turn off the television before either of them said anything. In a minute, people would be there to do damage control on Peeta and Penelope's condition and the words that came out of both of their mouths. Katniss would need to repudiate them. But the truth was, Katniss didn't trust the rebels or Plutarch or Coin. And Finnick wasn't too sure if he did anymore either. Neither were confident that they would tell them the truth.

Footsteps approached the room, and Finnick pulled himself together long enough to grip Katniss hard by her arms, "We didn't see it."

"What?" Katniss asked.

"We didn't see Peeta or Penelope. Only the propo on 8. Then we turned the set off because the images upset you. Got it?" he asked. Katniss nodded and he looked at her uneaten tray of food, "Finish your dinner."

When Plutarch and Fulvia entered the room, Katniss had a mouthful of bread and cabbage and Finnick was talking about how well Gale came across the camera and he was surprised at how long he was able to keep up the act of being okay. The two congratulated them on the propo, making it clear it was so powerful, that they tuned out right afterward. Plutarch and Fulvia looked relieved, they believed them.

No one mentioned Peeta and Penelope.

* * *

"I can't," I cried, thrashing in the bed that I was now tied to. Peeta and I had been taken back to the white room that we now shared with each other and Johanna. I referred to it in my mind as the Traitorous Room. I was crying so badly I could barely speak, "I can't, I can't! I can't stay here anymore!"

"Penelope, shut the fuck up!" Johanna yelled at me.

This was it. This was what I was stuck with nowadays.

"I _can't_!" I sobbed, "I can't calm down, Johanna!"

"Well you can try! Think about something else other than freaking the fuck out!" Johanna yelled again.

Peeta spoke up from where he was making a house out of cards. He had more freedom then us. Yes, he was still chained to a chair, but he didn't have to be completely strapped down like Johanna and I. And he snapped at us, "Can you both be quiet?"

"Peeta," Johanna said, her voice quiet after he'd snapped at us, "Are you alright?"

"Fine," Peeta said, waving his hand dismissively before sighing, turning in his chair to look at us, "Are you two?"

"I'm fine," Johanna sighed, "Just cold. Nuts 2 over there isn't though."

Peeta wheeled himself over and grabbed the thin blanket from his bed and put it on Johanna, making sure to cover her recently shaved head before going towards me and I feel his warm hand on mine and I looked over at him.

"Everything's going to be okay, Penelope," Peeta said to me and I let out another sob, because out of the two days that I'd been in this room with Johanna and Peeta, neither had said that and it just made me feel so much better.

Maybe Peeta was right, maybe everything would be alright.

"Penelope," Peeta said, his tone cautious, "Why didn't you tell us about your pregnancy before the Games?"

"I didn't know until the day before the Quell," I told him after a moment, "And I didn't want anyone to know until we all got to 13, but obviously that hasn't happened yet."

Another sob formed in my throat and I hear Johanna bang her head against her cot, "Nuts calm down!"

"Says the girl who was just crying not an hour ago!" I shouted at her, "And stop calling me Nuts!"

Johanna was about to retaliate, but then there was two peace keepers rolling her out of our room, and then another two come in and wheel Peeta and I out.

Each of us go to separate rooms, and I know what's coming. I can tell that they're going to torture us from the screams I heard down the hall where Johanna was.

Again and again, I'm asked for information on the rebels and again and again I told them that I knew nothing.

"Begin again, then clean her up. They've got another interview in three days," a voice I can't place says and I feel a wet rag on my face, wiping off all the blood from the hits I'd received. But before they could start to question me again, someone else walked in.

It was President Snow. His snake eyes land on my face and glance down at my bulging stomach and I used my energy to cover my stomach protectively.

"Hello, Penelope," Snow said as he stood in front of me.

I don't say anything in response, I didn't think that I could, and he looked down at my stomach again, "So poetic. Children born from rebels. The first children to be born from the rebellion."

"Get... Away," I wheezed out. I wasn't able to truly speak yet, I couldn't from the loss of breath I had.

"I just wished to come and let you know that it won't be an interview three days from now, but a propo to the rebels," Snow said and I stared back at him, "Don't... Care..."

"Okay," Snow said, walking away from me and he nodded to the peacekeeper that was currently torturing and interrogating me, "Carry on."

The peacekeeper nodded and watched Snow leave before turning back to me. Asking me questions.

_Who is part of the rebellion?_

_Where is 13 at?_

_What Victors were in on it?_

_What was the "big plan" to begin with?_

_Who isn't loyal here at The Capitol?_

On and on, I would say that I didn't know and it was the truth, but the peacekeeper didn't think so.

"Enough lies!" he yelled at me, kicking the chair I was sitting in and making me fly over, landing on my side and I let out a gasp at the feeling of the cold tile smashing against my face. The peacekeeper continued to kick at the chair, yelling for me to tell the truth, until he finally missed the chair and kicked me so hard in the stomach, the breath got knocked out of me.

I was gasping repeatedly, trying to fill my lungs with oxygen. But then another kick came and another, again and again I tried to fill my lungs and protect my stomach from the harsh blows, but it was futile.

But another person entered the room, and I was shocked when I heard them scream, "Enough of this!"

I turned my head to see Judy running into the room and standing over me, defending my shaking body while I continued to gasp for breath.

"Get out. Now," Judy told him, and then she turned to me, "Penelope, I'm going to pick you up now, okay? Let me know if it hurts."

She reached down and pulled my wheelchair back up and I let out a scream of pain at the feeling and then she was in front of my face, "What is it? What hurts?"

I shook my head, my pain wasn't what mattered, "My... Babies..."

Judy looked down at my stomach before kneeling down and then Judy's face grew pale and she muttered an "I'll be right back" before running out of the room, coming back a few moments later with a cart that had things like a small machine, blankets, and gloves.

"What..." I panted, "What are you..."

Judy didn't answer me, instead she pulled up my hospital gown and then placed the small machine on my bruising stomach, moving the small stylus over the area while she looked at the monitor in her hand. My guess was that it was showing her how the babies looked.

Then, she looked up at me with a look of pure shock and fear.

"What?" I whispered, "Please, what?"

"There's... There's a complication. We need to deliver your children now if there's a chance that they'll survive."

My eyes closed and I let out a sob that I'd been holding back, and soon enough, Judy was telling me to push.


	12. SLOWLY FREAKING OUT

**CHAPTER 11: SLOWLY FREAKING OUT.**

**"...****_Every day is one more inch of a slow blade sinking in. Vision fading, I'm suffocating inside my own skin... And I'm fighting a stranger in my eyes... I can't stay here in this place, I'm slowly freaking out, I'm slowly freaking out. I can't breathe. You're addicting. I'm slowly freaking out, I'm slowly freaking out and out and out again... Enigmatic, stuck like static, this feeling I can't shake. But just remember that I warned you, my will can never break... I can't stay here in this place, I'm slowly freaking out, I'm slowly freaking out. I can't breathe. You're addicting. I'm slowly freaking out, I'm slowly freaking out and out and out again... I can't stay here in this place, I'm slowly freaking out, I'm slowly freaking out... I can't stay in this place, I can't breathe. I can't breathe_****..." - Skylar Grey.**

"I'm so sorry, Penelope."

It was the quietest and most sincere I'd ever heard a Capitol person talk, and it scared me. But not as much as what Judy was telling me scared me. My eyes fluttered open and I only looked up at the bright light above my head, and I whispered, "Don't. Don't say it."

Judy ignored my plead and told me with that quiet voice again, "Neither of your babies survived, they were still-borns. I'm so, so sorry."

I raised my arm and rested it over my eyes as I let out a sob, crying hard before pulling myself together for a moment, asking, "What will happen to them?"

"We can either bury or cremate them," she told me softly, "Like a funeral for them."

"Why?" I sobbed, "Why would you help me, them, us, now?"

"I've done some thinking since we last spoke. You've been right all along. _This_, the Capitol, Snow, myself, it's all wrong. Seeing how they've been treating you, Peeta, and Johanna... It's changed my mind. I'm so sorry."

"Me too," I whispered, clenching my eyes shut, more sobs leaving my mouth for God knew how long until I finally tell Judy that I want to cremate my babies.

I don't want them here in The Capitol forever.

***% * ((A/N: SORRY THERE IS SYMBOLS NOW THAT MEAN TIME SKIPS, REMOVED THE LINES I USUALLY USED :(( )) *% ***

Two days later, I was being forced to be in a propo against the rebels with Peeta and President Snow.

Judy and I had a funeral for my children, and I'd whispered "_I'm so sorry_" to them before I'd gone completely mute.

Johanna was so angry when she'd seen me wheeled into our room with a flat stomach, dull eyes, and a bruised face that she went and screamed until peacekeepers came in and took her away. She'd been screaming that she wanted to talk to Snow, wanted to talk to the one responsible.

Peeta didn't react with screams or yells, no, he'd wheeled over to my bed and cried with me, holding my hand tightly. Both of us had been so scared, because then we realised exactly how far The Capitol would go. There was no limit as to how far they would go for information.

So here I was, still recovering from giving birth to stillborns and completely mute, sitting beside the man that I hated more than anything in the entire world, Snow, and beside someone that was the complete opposite of that, Peeta.

I was going to be on live television for the whole country to see me with another broken nose and a bruised face wearing an all white outfit like Peeta and President Snow's, my eyes dull and lifeless looking, and a flat stomach.

The worst thing was that I knew that Finnick would be watching.

***% **% **% ***

"What's going on?" Katniss asked as she took a seat between Finnick and Plutarch in the Command room. They were to be watching propos that were filmed the day before, "Aren't we seeing the 12 propos?"

"Oh, no," Plutarch said, "I mean, possibly. I don't know exactly what footage Beetee plans to use."

"Beetee thinks he's found a way to break into the feed nationwide," Finnick told Katniss, "So that our propos will air in the Capitol, too. He's down working on it in Special Defense now. There's live programming tonight. Snow's making an appearance or something. I think it's starting soon."

And sure enough, The Capitol seal appeared, underscored by the anthem. Then the room was staring directly into President Snow's gross beady snake eyes as he greeted the nation. He seemed barricaded behind his podium, but the white rose in his lapel was in full view. The camera pulled back to include Peeta, off to one side in front of a projected map of Panem. He was sitting in a wheelchair of sorts, his shoes supported by a metal rung. The foot of his prosthetic leg tapped out a strange irregular beat. Beads of sweat had broken through the layer of powder on his upper lip and forehead, but the look in his eyes - angry yet unfocused - were the most frightening.

On the other side of Snow was an even more frightening sight.

Penelope sat in a chair much like Peeta's and she wasn't fidgeting like he was, no, she was just staring straight ahead with dull, unfocused eyes. She looked even thinner than she did two days before and her face was covered in bruises and her reconstructed nose was broken yet again. And the worst part was her stomach. It wasn't bulging out anymore like she was halfway along with her pregnancy. No, now it was as flat as it had been when she'd went in to the Quell.

Penelope looked utterly defeated and Finnick knew what had happened.

_They'd killed their children._

"He's worse," Katniss whispered before her eyes settled on Penelope and they widened with realization as she turned to her friend quickly, her face pale and her eyes wide in horror, "Oh God, Finnick."

Finnick grasped Katniss' hand, trying to have an anchor for each of them to hold onto, and he felt tears prickling his eyes.

Peeta began to speak in a frustrated tone about the need for the cease-fire. He highlighted the damage done to key infrastructure in various Districts, and as he spoke, part of the map lit up, showing images of the destruction. A broken dam in 7, a derailed train with a pool of toxic waste spilling from the tank cars, a granary collapsing after a fire, all of them he attributed to rebel action.

Then suddenly, Katniss was on the television in the rubble of the backery.

Plutarch jumped to his feet, "He did it! Beetee broke in!"

The room was buzzing with reaction, but Finnick couldn't stop staring at Penelope on the screen, her sunken cheeks and bony figure along with her flat stomach. The stomach that used to bulge with new life.

Peeta had seen Katniss' face, everyone could tell by the distracted look in his eyes and if Penelope saw it, she had no reaction to it. Peeta tried to pick up his speech by moving on to the bombing of a water purification plant when a clip of Finnick talking about Rue replaced him.

The screen flashed back to Peeta and Penelope, revealing that Peeta looked more distracted and Penelope was staring intently at something, most likely another television that had showed Finnick because her face had softened slightly.

Again and again, The Capitol and Beetee had a broadcast battle. They were unprepared for Beetee's attack, but Beetee apparently had anticipated he would not hold on to control so he had an arsenal of five to ten second clips to work with. Plutarch was spasming in delight and most everybody was cheering Beetee on, but Katniss saw that Finnick remained still and speechless beside her, staring at Penelope's bony and dull form.

But Katniss, Haymitch, and Finnick knew that with every cheer that came out of everyone's mouths, Peeta and Penelope would slip even farther from their grasp.

The Capitol's seal suddenly came back up, accompanied by a flat audio tone. It lasted for about twenty seconds before Snow, Penelope, and Peeta returned. The set was in turmoil. Snow plowed forward, saying that clearly the rebels were attempting to disrupt the dissemination of information they found incriminating, but both truth and justice would reign. The full broadcast would resume when security had been reinstated. He asked Peeta if, given tonight's demonstration, he had any parting thoughts for Katniss Everdeen.

Peeta's face contorted with effort, "Katniss... How do you think this will end? What will be left? No one is safe. Not in The Capitol. Not in the Districts. And you... in 13..." he inhaled sharply, fighting for air, his eyes looked insane, "_Dead by morning!_"

Snow's eyes widened as he ordered, more like screamed, for someone, "End it!"

The whole set had erupted in chaos and the camera had been knocked down to record the white tiled floor. It showed a scuffle of boots. The impact that's inseparable from Peeta's cry of pain.

And his blood splattered the tiles.

And the second sound other than the noise of Peeta's cry was Penelope's scream.

The room in 13 was in an uproar. Questions and demands run out around the room over Peeta's words, everyone wondering what the words meant but showed no concern over Peeta and Penelope's safety other than Katniss and Finnick, who had started tying nots in his seat and had unfocused eyes, silently shaking from the anger and fear that'd been confirmed moments ago.

The screen turned to static and the room had gone into chaos.

_**HELLO READERS OF DARK PARADISE! I am so absolutely sorry for not updating since DECEMBER! Wow, that is so incredibly long I am sooo sorry! I haven't really written since December, so this chapter is on the short side but I wanted to at least write something! Sorry if this episode disappoints but I'll get working on a better one soon! Thank you for all the support!**_


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